I Hate Marshal Yun (Boy × Boy)

Chapter Fifteen

The other day at the sleepover felt almost intimate. I wonder if Marshal felt that way or if maybe i'm misreading the situation.

I was so confused because on one hand, Marshal was straight. He said so himself. But on the other hand, I don't think a straight guy would want to spoon with me while we slept in the same bed.

Did this mean he was interested as well or was he just like this with all his friends? I wasn't entirely convinced that his friends were into cuddling like Marshal apparently was but I had to make sure so I asked my mothers opinion. My mother always has all the answers.

I walked into the kitchen and plopped down on the bar stool across from where my mother was making a sandwich.

"Mom... can I ask for your opinion?"

She put down her butter knife and leaned her elbows on the counter. "Sure honey, what's on your mind?"

"Do you think straight guys ever platonically cuddle?"

She choked on her bite of sandwich. "Um... no quite honestly I think that's more of a girl thing."

"Ok say a straight guy friend cuddled with me, does that mean he might not be straight?"

She put her sandwich down and grabbed my hand. "Somthing tells me this isn't a hypothetical situation. This happened with Marshal?"

Damn it why does she have to be a mind reader. "How did you guess that easily?"

"Babe he's your only male friend and you just slept over at his house. Plus I'm your mother. I can read your mind."

"Please don't be mad. It was only a cuddle. We didn't do anything else. Plus he says he's straight so I don't even know if it meant anything."

"Well I'm going to have a conversation with his mother about some new rules. Don't worry I'll tell her not to tell Marshal you told me. I can't make any promises he won't figure that out on his own though."

I tried not to freak out. I listened in on their phone call. She told my mom she wasn't worried about it but my mom told her that she didn't want anything happening behind closed doors.

So the new rules were no closed doors and we had to have a third party present when we hung out somewhere that wasn't public. I was kind of annoyed at my moms decisions but i figured this was what I got for being too obvious about who I was talking about.

In the next couple of hours I hadn't heard anything from Marshal so I figured I was in the clear until Lilliana called me sounding a little frantic.

"KEATON! Mom is upstairs telling Marshal about what your mom told her! Why did you tell your mother? What if Marshal gets mad?"

"Fuck!" I hung up the call and absolutely lost it. I began to cry and yell at my mother and blaming her for ruining my friendship with Marshal. I was on the floor having a panic attack with my knees tucked to my chest and I wasn't sure what to do.

Then my mom left the room. Was she really leaving me all alone when I was feeling vulnerable?

I sat on the floor for a while and rocked back and forth trying to catch my breath and then marshal came running into the kitchen.

"Your mom called me." He wrapped his arms around me. "It's okay Keaton just breathe."

"B-but. You're mad at me now."

He leaned into me and cupped my face in his hands. "Hey, I'm not mad at you, or anyone, okay? But we need to talk about this. I need to be honest with you."

"Oh, okay." I sat up and let the panic attack take it's course while Marshal rubbed my back and walked with me to my room. We made sure not to shut the door even though my mother was trying to keep her distance.

"I'm going to order us lunch and then we're going to talk about what's going on between us. And I don't want you to worry so you better turn that frown upsidedown." He booped my nose to make me smile.

I was still worried but at least now I was going to know the truth about his feelings. Even if he didn't really like me like that, I could just let myself get over it and we could just be friends because he wasn't mad and that's all I could hope for.

We ordered from a local Mexican restaurant on Doordash. I got two beef  tostadas with rice and refried beans on the side. And Marshal got chicken enchiladas.

"Your food always looks better than mine! Every time we order..."

I giggle. "You should have ordered tostadas or at least one side. Here you can have half of my rice." He put his to go box up to mine.

I figured before he started explaining himself to me I should come clean first. "Marshal, I don't want our friendship to end but I think it's best if you know how I've been feeling about you lately."

"Okay," he shoveled food into his mouth and tried to make eye contact with me which just made me more nervous.

"I never meant to catch feelings for you. I tried to shove it away but every time I hang out with you I just can't help but feel more and more attracted to you. And if that makes you uncomfortable I promise I can turn off all hopes of somthing happening immediately."

He sighed. "I don't even know where to begin with my response to that Keaton. I should probably start by saying I have no idea what happened but at some point I started to fall for you and I have no idea why. I don't even know what my sexuality is anymore all I know is that I am attracted to you and I really want to touch you like all the time. But I don't want to lead you on or make you confused."

I smiled at his honesty. "Marshal. I don't expect you to have yourself figured out just for me. That will come with time. It was easier for me because my sexuality is very uncomplicated but for you it's different. I just want to be a part of it. We don't have to go around telling everyone or anyone at all. I just want you as you are right now okay?"

Marshal tried to hide his face but I already saw the tears start to drip from his eyes. "Fuck. Now I'm sobbing like a child. Yes. I want to try a relationship with you. But right now the only person who I want to tell is my sister. And we don't have to do anything you aren't ready to do just because we're dating. But if you want to kiss me you can."

I reached out and grabbed his hands and kissed his wrist. When I leaned forward he grabbed the side of my neck and we observed eachothers lips for a second. We let the feeling of the moment linger in the air until we were both ready to take the plunge and when our lips met I fell into a trance.

Nothing else mattered in that moment. It didn't matter that my mom was in the next room and could walk it at any moment. It didn't matter that this could all end and Marshal could discover that he is in fact straight. All that mattered was that in this moment we were closer than I'd ever thought possible and I was never going to get over how good that felt.