Desire 2: Caged

11

Two hours passed and Dr. Schultz kept his word and came back. He instructed me to keep it together, because the sight would be a little emotional. When we were finally able to get inside of the room, tears started to fill my eyes. I stood up from the wheelchair and next to the incubator, silently praying. I had no words. There my baby was, covered in tubes, her eyes looked like goggles were on them and I could see the machine breathing for her. I placed my hand on the glass and whispered "Grace, I'll call you Grace." Dr. Schultz looked at me and hesitated,
"Time's almost up."

I looked at him, tears now falling from my eyes. I could see the hurt in his. He grabbed my shoulder and told me "I'll give you a minute alone with her."
He walked out of the room and I leaned on the glass.
"Hey baby girl, I don't know if you can hear me but I'm your mommy. I love you so much and I'm sorry for all of this. I can't stay too long but I want you to know, I am here and I love you more than life itself.

"Mrs. Washington, we have to go." Dr. Schultz said.

I whispered "goodbye." to my Grace.

We walked out of the unit and Dr. Schultz pushed me back down to my room. I didn't say anything. Once I was back in bed, he told me "Now this is our little secret."

"I understand." I cried.

He was so gentle with me. He held my hand and said a prayer with me. He told me to start reading my bible and trust that all of this was in GOD'S plan for me. I didn't want to hear that, but I listened.

As he was walking out of the door, he turned to me and said "This too shall pass."

A part of me believed him but the other part felt like it was b******t. Why me? Why would this not be it for me?