Desire 2: Caged

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"Ja'Zaye, what is this?"

She gave me an annoyed look.
"You ask a bunch of unnecessary questions."

"I don't feel right about this!"

"So stop feeling. Look, there are things that will make you uncomfortable but I promise you, you're safe. Everyone is already talking about how you're not to be messed with."

"Ja'Zaye, I just don't know about this."

"I do. Just trust me."

I looked at her and as crazy as it seems, I was trusting her. I stuffed the pills down in my shirt and walked back down to my cell quickly. Hoping that I wouldn't get caught.

I made it to my cell and hid the pills under my pillow. I took a deep sigh of relief. I was sitting there doing nothing when I heard a tap on the cell door.

"Officer Mitch?" I called in shock.

"Did I scare you?"

"Why are you sneaking up on me?"

"I just wanted to speak."

"Hi." I said nervously.

He waved his hand as he gave a charming smile and walked away.

I wondered if he followed me or did he see the pills. I was bugging out.

It's been a few days and I hadn't talked to my mom. I decided to go to the day room to call.

As the phone was ringing, I thought to just hang up. Somehow, my mom could always tell when I've done something. I couldn't tell her what I've done and I didn't' want to lie to her.

"Hello?" she called.

I said nothing.

"Hello? Deysire, can you hear me? Hello?"

"Hey mom. I'm here."

"Oh baby, I've been so worried about you. Are you okay?"

"Yes ma'am. I'm good. How about you?"

"Oh, I'm fine by the help of The Good Lord. Been trying to make it and worried about you and Rose. Oh, baby I'm sorry I couldn't save her from them there devils."

"Mom, you listen to me. The baby and I are going to be fine, I pinky promise. Like you say, this is a test and I won't fail."

"That's my baby! I didn't want to tell you but I got a letter from Keith's new wife and that heifer gon' get what's coming to her."

"Sooner than you know, mom!"

In that moment, I saw Jade headed towards my cell. I rushed my mom off the phone.

"Okay, mom. Gotta go. Love you."

I walked to my cell and there she was.

She stood with a swollen eye and a busted lip.

She smiled "Damn girl, you kicked my a** good."

I looked at her, embarrassed for what I did to her.

"Jade, I'm so sorry."

"I'm used to this. I have a high tolerance for pain. My daddy used to beat me and my mom everyday from the time I could walk up until I was old enough to leave. Do you have something for me?"

"Yeah, it's right here." I said pulling the bag of pills from under my pillow.

She grabbed the bag and headed out. Right before exiting the cell she looked at me and said "At least try to look like you don't have feelings. This is a whole new world."

I wanted to ask what she mean but I already know. This was the start of a lifestyle that I wasn't sure I was ready for but the reward of being with my daughter makes it worth every risk.