A Spring Times Kiss: An Imperial Love Prequel

Prologue

November of 1917, Jamie Hamilton found himself in the city of Cambrai fighting in the Great War. Trying to make something of himself after all that he had suffered. Jamie was just trying to figure out who he was as a man, he enlisted to get away from everything that he had suffered and wanted to be more than just a man who was drinking all the time and sleeping with every woman in town. But those happen were still there as he finally got into the military, such as sleeping with his friend's wife, knowing that she was married. But Jamie didn't know that it was the wife of one of his closest friends, which made him feel even more guilty.

The news of his friend Silas' death after he finds out about Jamie and Ciera, resulted in Silas shooting himself in the head with nobody else around. Which added more to Jamie's guilt. Felt guilty thinking he was the reason for Silas dying, but then felt worse after Ciera died, even though it was an illness. But he felt guilty after Ciera died days later. That was what made him question everything that he had when he was fighting. It made him question everything that he was working toward, and he was wondering if he was ever going to find any bit of happiness.

When he was fighting in Cambrai, Jamie had found himself far away from everyone, and not following a crowd, which he was so used to doing, he just wanted to be independent and just not think about anything else, other than surviving the war.

After leaving his tank and seeing his friend Claude dead from the barbed wire, he ran farther away from everyone, so he didn't get too caught up with everyone else's whereabouts.

He was focusing on himself and no one else.

When he ran from his tank, that was when everything started to change. He was away from his friends, including Wesley Hayes and Benedict St.Clair. He felt guilty for leaving them behind, 

Jamie found himself breaking away from the German trench lines and on the ground hoping that he didn't get killed. But his fate was no longer in his hands. So he did what he thought was best, and that was taking his anger and stress out on the war and fighting. He wanted to think about everything he had done, and all that he had regretted.  He wanted to think about everything he had done, and all that he had regretted. From his affair with Ciera, which later resulted in Silas' death, he only wanted forgiveness from Silas, and he was never going to get that because he was never going to see Silas again. Because Silas was dead.

Each day in the German Trenches was growing tougher and tougher for Jamie. He didn't know where he was, and he didn't know where the rest of his friends were, especially John Kelly, who he assumed was dead at that point. There were no signs of anyone, no signs of William, Wesley, Simon, Nor Benedict. They were nowhere to be found, and that was when Jamie was starting to lose hope. He started to forget why he had fought in the first place. But then he remembered where he came from, and who he was before the war started. He wasn't anything. He was just a heavy drinker and a man that slept with every woman in sight. He never felt good about himself anymore, especially with what he had done to Silas and Ciera. He just wanted to have a drink on that battlefield, but he knew that it wasn't possible. He couldn't stop fighting just to get a drink. But he wanted to focus on his safety more than anything else. And perhaps go back to his normal life after the battle. He was already skating on thin ice with the Military for most of his actions, not only from the affair but from his drinking while training which got him in trouble before. And he didn't know what his fate in the Military was going to be like after this battle. There was a high chance that he was going to go to New York City to try and figure his life out and figure out who he was without fighting. He needed to become a better man for the next battle he went to.

But he didn't know how he was going to figure it all out, he was laying in the German front lines, trying to think about his next move, not knowing what was going to happen next. But he didn't know. He didn't know how he was going to survive everything. But he needed to. If he wanted to get himself back on track because that was what he wanted after all of it was over.

There was so much going on in his head during his time in Cambrai, there was so much he had been thinking about when all of it was over. He didn't know if he was going to survive all of it, he didn't know if he was ever going to be forgiven by the people around him. And most importantly, he didn't know if he would ever be able to forgive himself.  He knew that being able to forgive and forget was going to take a while, and he knew people could forgive him, but he didn't know if they would ever forget. 

Especially himself, for the way he was.

He was fighting for his country, and he was proud of himself for getting as far as he did. But he needed to push himself harder, no matter the circumstances. He found himself getting angrier and more frustrated with himself by the moment. Perhaps it was still his guilt hitting him with everything that happened with Silas and with the way everything happened. He wished that he could fix everything and bring Silas back.

One of the nights in early December, was when Jamie started to feel more tensed up than ever before. He found himself not feeling as strong as he used to feel, and he was feeling more anxious than ever before. Perhaps he felt the Germans coming closer to him, or perhaps he was feeling like he couldn't fight back.

When he knew that he could.

But he was doubting himself even more than usual. He didn't know why. Perhaps he felt as if things were getting worse for him in regards to who he felt trusted him. Because he knew that there wasn't a lot that trusted him that was in the army with him.

His nights in December were cold, and people were dying from the weather more than the war and the Germans. The Front lines were flat, and Jamie could feel his feet wet from the snow melting his shoe. And his feet were growing colder.  And one thing about Jamie was that he had a high tolerance for the cold, but December in Cambrai was different.

He didn't know how much he could take. 

But he could do it.