Moving On (Destiel)

42: Wake up

Fittingly, the first weekend they could've spent together Cas was gone. But he couldn't ditch his mother. He only saw her once per month, and she would accept no less. And even though Cas considered these visits as annoying and exhausting, he knew he loved his mother. And he couldn't do that to her, just ignore her, so he went, leaving Dean with his brother and Gabe.

But if he had thought his problems and deep thoughts wouldn't haunt him all the way down to Alabama, he had been wrong. They'd even haunt him in his dreams, recalling old memories.

Cas had to witness one of worst sights he could remember to have ever had, and for a very long time, it would remain his most haunting memory. Or imagination.

Whether it was real or not, there was no difference for Cas. His best friend sat in his garden, crying. Cas had only wanted to go out to feed the turtles his parents let him keep in the garden, and had spotted the boy, leaning against their tool shed, curled up to a ball.

"What are you doing here?", Cas asked in surprise, rushing over to his best friend who was sniffing loudly. "I didn't know where to go," the boy sobbed between two rattling breaths. "I thought you were a good idea. So I ran here. And nobody opened the door."

"So, you decided to hide in my garden?"

The boy nodded, burying his face in his arms. Cas kneeled next to him, not caring about the dirt, his turtles forgotten. "Why did you run, Dean?"

Dean shook his head, still crying. Cas put an arm around him and hugged him tight, and Dean clung tightly to him. Cas didn't care he was wetting his pullover. And that there was snot everywhere. He only wanted to comfort his best friend who had come here to look for shelter.

Forever went by, when Dean spoke up. "They're dead, Cas. All dead."

Cas hadn't asked because he didn't want to make Dean feel forced to talk, but he couldn't leave it standing like that. "Who, Dean? Who is dead?"

"Mommy," Dean sobbed and pressed himself harder at Cas. "My mommy is dead. And Adam too."

Cas hadn't had much to do with Adam at that time. But he knew it was Dean's older brother, and that Dean loved him. And looked up to him. He couldn't imagine the pain Dean must be going through. 

"My mommy said people never die really."

"But they're dead, very really!", Dean burst out, a wave of anger rolling over him. "Your mommy is lying! They're gone; they're not coming back!" Then he started crying again.

Cas held him for a little more while, before he had an idea. He shook Dean gently and whispered "I'll be right back, Dean."

"NO!", Dean screamed, panicking. His little fingers clawed at Cas's arm, making it hurt.

"That hurts, Dean."

"Please don't leave me," Dean sobbed. "Not you, too."

"I'll come back!"

"That's what Adam said, and mommy! Look at them now! Right, you can't! 'Cause they are gone. They didn't come back and will never." Dean looked up at Cas wildly, so much pain in these eyes of a six years old that it broke Cas's heart. Back then and now too, where he was just re-living the memory.

Another five years old probably wouldn't have known how to handle this, and maybe Cas had handled it wrong, as well. But he was still Cas, and he had at least to try and fix his friend. "Dean, I will not leave you ultimately. I promise. I will be right back. But you have to let me go."

Dean loosened his grip, but not entirely. Cas had to gently remove Dean's cold cramped fingers from his sleeve. Dean didn't stop him, curling up to a ball again.