Moving On (Destiel)

22: Remember when

"Shsh, fast, run!" Five-years-old Cas giggled while storming through the house's corridors. He could hear Connor counting down from twenty a few rooms away. His best friend followed close behind.

"Look, Cas, get in here," he said in a mid-loud voice: Enough for Cas to hear, but not for Connor.

Cas turned around and saw him holding the door to the closet of Connor's parents open. He doubted they would be allowed to go in here, but it seemed like the best hiding place in sight. And Connor's parents had known today many children would come – at Connor's birthday party – so if they didn't want anyone to enter their bedroom, they could have locked it up.

"Good idea," Cas said and climbed into the closet, making space for his best friend who closed the door behind them. 

They sat in silence for a few seconds, only hearing each other's racing pulses and them trying to control their loud breathing. "I hate hide-and-seek," Cas complained after a short time.

"Why's that?"

"I always get so nervous when I hide and wait to get found."

"But I'm here with you right now," the boy interjected, "You don't have to be nervous. I'll protect you."

"Thank you," Cas whispered and snuggled up at him. "You're right – when you're here, I feel better."

They stayed like that for a long while. Or at least it felt long. But time always went by slower while hiding.

"Hey," Cas said after some minutes. "Today was a very good day!"

"Awesome," came the answer, "special reason for it?"

"Kindergarten made me very happy! Mrs. Brennan told us about fairytales! I love fairytales! They're so... fairy!"

The boy grinned. "Oh, yeah? But I bet she didn't tell you the best of them all."

"And which one would that be? She told us many fairytales."

"But she didn't tell you 'The little mermaid', did she?"

Cas frowned. "No...? Is it good?"

"It's the best."

"Can you tell me?"

The boy sat up straight. "What? No?"

"Why not? We're waiting anyway. And if we don't talk, I'll have to pee. I always feel the urge to pee when I hide in silence. It's annoying."

The boy laughed. "Alright. If you want. So... once upon a time, there were fourteen sweet mermaid girls, living underseas with their father, the king of the mermaids, and their grandmother. Their grandmother would always tell them stories from beneath the surface, far far away, a mere imagination that the sisters could only ever dream of. They loved hearing these stories; the world outside was fascinating. But still, they enjoyed living in their father's palace, play in the endless blue depths of a clear ocean. They all had their special places – hiding places, you could say, where nobody disturbed them and they could think in piece. 

The youngest, the wildest, and to the same time, the dreamiest and most beautiful one, held a garden for himself, collecting things she had gathered from the ground of the ocean, including mush shells or lost bracelets from her sisters; but mostly consisting of things the humans had let sink from up above. She collected them and arranged a beautiful view in her little garden, looking at them whenever she had time, and she imagined to one day be able to meet these humans, the creators of these things, to get to know them, what they were like. Of all her sisters, she was longing most for the sight of what the world outside held for them. And of all her sisters, she had to wait longest. Because she was the youngest, and you were only allowed to swim up to the surface at your fifteenth birthday. And her fourteen sisters would all be there before her..."

It was a long fairytale. But his best friend told Cas the whole story, and not once did Cas interrupt. He was too captivated by the sound of the boy's voice, the soft passion he talked with, the story itself. 

It ripped Cas's heart in pieces when the boy came to the shockingly rather sad, cruel ending.

In his mind, fairytales were supposed to be cheering up, to have a happy end, but not this one. And apparently, this wasn't the only case.

"Fairytales are often to tell a message to children. Like "Don't trust strangers" or "Don't go into the woods alone" with Little Red Riding Hood. That's why they might play in a fantasy world, but the truth behind them is very real, and brutal, as it is here, too. It teaches us something."

"And what is that "Little mermaid" teaching us?", Cas asked in awe, his eyes still filled with tears because his friend had incredible story-teller talent and he was emotionally attached to the story of the youngest mermaid.

"What do you think?", the boy asked, sounding amused. But he looked stern.

"I'd guess it's saying you shouldn't make deals with anyone. At least, if you have not thought through the consequences very well. Bad things happening is the result. Bad things such as death." Cas's voice broke.

"Yes, Cas. Remember that. Don't bargain with some random person, and with no one you don't trust, you hear me? Always tell me before, I'll help you. Deals are dangerous. And I don't want to lose you."

*

That's when Cas's dream stopped. He was in the plane on his way to his mother and would soon arrive – he had slept through most of the flying time. He had caught the train just in time that'd bring him to the airport, and luckily his flight had been delayed, or he wouldn't have made it.

Now, he was wondering why that dream exactly had come up. It was about his imaginary friend, obviously. The one he had told Dean about. And in his mind, this all had happened the exact way.

He remembered leaving the closet eventually. The fairytale had been long, half an hour at least, and he had gotten tired. Turned out, the game was over already, and the other children were eating the cake without him because they hadn't found him, and then lost interest in the searching mission, for the cake offering a tempting alternative.

He wished he could talk to these kids now. Asked them if that friend of him... if he really had been imaginary. He knew he shared many memories with him in it, but whenever he'd mention it to his mother, she'd beat the living crap out of him. 

He doesn't exist, she used to yell. You're a freak, imagining things. If you stay like that, I'm gonna put you to the doctor, but I don't know if they even can help a psycho like you. God, can't you just behave human?

So, one day, he had stopped talking about these memories. He had learned to believe his mother when she told him he was a creation of his mind out of loneliness. And his friend was only in his early memories. The ones before their move down here.

But now? He wasn't so sure if it wasn't all a lie. It was all so vivid in his mind, and Dean was right: How could he have made up a fairytale he had never been told before and that really existed?

But then again: Why would his mother be so obsessed with making him feel like an abomination, making him forget the memories, and if  he had them, think that he just imagined a major part of them?

Cas didn't know any answers to those question, and he wasn't going to ask his mother, either. He had learned his lesson.

But he had also learned not to just trust anyone and have endless faith. Because endless faith would be disappointed sooner or later. Nothing was endless, after all. 

A/N: Sorry for this pretty short chapter, but I didn't want to add anything more of the "real" story to this flashback and there was not more of itself needed. 

Next chapter is coming soon, maybe tomorrow even, I have a day off :)

For future reference, "The Little Mermaid" might be used a couple of times, so if you don't know the story, please write it in the comments, then I'll make an extra chapter where I just sum up that fairytale for you. If nobody asks for it, I'll just assume you all know it, and we can carry on with the story. 

till then, peace out bitches ;) (and thanks for still reading)