Moving On (Destiel)

54: UnaVOIDable

Cas had to sit down. He couldn't hold himself up anymore – he had spent all his energy and was conflicted, confused and just over-all torn inside. Gabriel didn't look any better. He leaned against the wall, his eyes closed, but his fingers were twitching uncontrollably. Cas wrapped his own arms around himself to hide their shaking, but also to comfort himself.

He had expected some really, really bad things when he confronted his mother.

But nothing had prepared him for the emotional trauma he'd have to live through in order to understand what she tried to tell him. Nothing prepared him for how fucked up everything was.

God, he hated people. And the world. And God. Everyone and Everything. And they all fucking deserved it. They were not worth his forgiveness, nor his love. Himself included. Generally, not in this particular moment, 'cause right now? Right now he could only blame himself to be too weak to withstand the manipulation of Becky all those years ago, and throughout them.

His mother, however, seemed all too self-conscious and satisfied with herself to have upset her son so deeply. But what she didn't know what that she hadn't made Dean seem like the villain to Cas – no, in Cas' mind it was Becky herself whose fault was that his whole life was a lie. Literally.

"I can't believe that." Gabriel shook his head as if he had just now decided he was simply not accepting Becky's explanation, which made it invalid.

"Yeah," Becky scoffed. "What do you think I thought when Dean walked in on us earlier? That the boy I tried to keep my son from having any contact to was suddenly here, in my house, not only hanging out, but having infiltrated it? That he snuck into my son's heart and played him-"

"And how can you judge that he played him? Or is playing him, as you say?", Gabriel countered.

"Easy. Didn't you see his face when he recognized me? He was so shocked he didn't know what to say, 'cause he knows I'd blow his cover."

"Cover." Gabriel snorted. "You're clearly not right by your mind, mother."

"You don't speak to me in that tone, young man." Becky raised her voice. "If you had any respect-"

"Enough." Cas barely got the words out, but their had their wished effect. They both went quiet, looking at him. But he was looking at neither of them. Only the table. The table was the only sight he could bare right now. Nobody deserved for him to look at them. They weren't worth it.

"Both of you, I've had enough. Of all of this."

"You don't say."

"The 'both' included you, too, Mother," Cas sighed, rubbing his eyes. "I'm so done with your bullshit. You told me what you know, your side of the story, now I'll hear Dean's."

"Are you-" The all-so-happy Becky from the previous moment looked as if she had in no way expected Cas to say that. "Are you serious? I thought you had enough!"

"I've had enough. Of you, I mean. Of you and your trying to push up things. Of you throwing out wild accusations and insulting a person I love."

"Accusations, he says. Stupid, he is." Becky folded her hands. "I don't think you quite understood me, son. I know for a fact of the dark mafia-history of your ever-so-lovely boyfriend. Of the drug business his family used to be in. And you're not only calling those facts "accusations" that you clearly don't believe, but are also willing to talk to him? If I were you, I'd never speak to him again! He lied to you, he played you, he's bad influence! Get rid of the infection before it intoxicates you, I'm telling you, Castiel!"