Group Z

Chapter 24

I walk through a forest alone. The trees are close together giving me a sense of security but I'm on edge, waiting for the nightmare to start. It always starts when I'm dreaming. I find that I now know I'm dreaming but I'm still powerless to wake myself up. I walk aimlessly through the trees scraping the rough bark with my fingers. In this brief moment of peace, my eyes close and I just savour the feeling, remembering my time with Sapphire, the ground rough against my back but her fingers, mouth, body soft. From the sounds of nature, it's clear that there are no other humans here, just the birds. Sunlight filters through the leaves, brighter than usual.

Ahead of me a deer steps into view, unafraid and stares right at me. Its eyes are green, and it has bright red fur, reminding me abruptly of Lizzie. The deer looks behind her and a spindly legged fawn stumbles out from behind her and walks up nuzzling its mother's side. The deer nuzzles it back and walks up to me, I stretch my hand out and she bumps it with her cool nose, the fawn follows and leans against my legs, its warm soft weight is comforting, and I reach out to stroke the fluffy speckled fur. The mother turns and walks away, the fawn lets out a small noise and unsteadily walks after her, my arm reaches out of its own accord, but she keeps walking, disappearing from my sight.

My eyes flutter open, I feel a mixture of concern and relief, on the one hand I'm glad that I didn't have a nightmare for once, but I can't deny that I was slightly disturbed wondering what the dream could mean. Neither Sapphire or Benny are awake yet and since both are leaning on me, I have no choice but to lay there and look up through the trees. I get an intense feeling of déjà vu at the bird song and the feeling of the rough bark. I close my eyes and just listen feeling a light breeze blowing across my face.

Eventually though I can't stand to stay still for another second. I slide out from underneath them both by grabbing onto a branch just above our heads and pulling myself up, gently placing them on the tree. I pull myself up lifting my legs above my head so I'm upside down, extending my body I wrap my legs around yet another branch and this time using my legs pull myself up onto the branch.

Once I'm up I lie face down, my breath ragged. 'I'm never doing that again.' I mutter to myself knowing that my muscles will be aching tomorrow.

I stand up and walk along the branch deciding to have some fun and exercise at the same time. I run across the branch and jump off reaching out with both hands on my way down to earth. I grip a branch and swing back and forth letting go at the top of my swing, I land on both my feet my arms waving wildly as I try to keep my balance. I run along the tree to the trunk and jump off, both feet pointed towards the earth, I land with a juddering impact and immediately take off running refusing to stop, my lungs burn but the exercise feels good after days of walking and going slow. Adrenaline courses through my body and I relish in the control I have. I could get hurt, or not hurt doing this. I get to control how far I want to go. No one else.

However, I must keep some form of sanity and I keep track in my head of where I'm running so I can find my way back to Sapphire, Lizzie, Benny and Damon. But only part of me thinks of that, I keep primary focus on my pounding feet, feeling the ground whilst whirling my way through the trees. I figure I have at least an hour maybe more before I have to get back. I breathe evenly and pay attention to my surroundings, thinking about anything but recent events. Eventually I slow to a jog then a walk, my hands on my hips. I take deep cleansing breaths of cool air, filling my lungs. I stand still just for a second, savouring the... Aloneness of the forest, even though I know that I'm barely more than a mile from everyone it feels like I'm completely alone.

I hear something stirring in the forest to my left and my eyes snap open. A deer steps into view. But this is just an ordinary deer, no green eyes, no red fur and, unlike my dream this deer takes one look at me and bounds away. Whilst I'm a bit disconcerted at my dream becoming real, I'm more reassured at the idea that there is food other than berries in this forest, but things would have to be bad for me to kill a deer. I want no more killing if I can manage it.