In My Head (Agent Severide Book 2)

Chapter 22

2 weeks Later 

Zoey was sitting on the floor of her hotel room chugging back a bottle of tequila alone like she had since she'd been released from the hospital. She still couldn't wrap her head around the fact the family she had envisioned was gone. Torn away from her thank to her job, something she used to love more than anything but now she wasn't sure. 

The blonde wasn't sure of anything anymore, she'd basically locked herself in a hotel in Chicago since Kelly was staying with Matt and Gabby since his whole apartment exploded. She'd been offered to stay with Jay but she couldn't look at him after losing the child they were once so excited for, and she had been avoiding him and everyone since she got released from the hospital. 

The team would call her frequently asking how she was but she wouldn't answer the calls other than Hotch not really wanting to talk about everything. She just felt so lost like she had when Shay died. The thought of her best friend brought tears to her eyes as she began to cry. "I miss you, Shay, I wish you were here," Zoey said sadly through tears as she took another swig of the bottle finishing it off. 

The blonde sighed noticing she finally ran out of alcohol, a knock on the door caught her attention. Zoey stumbled to her feet almost falling over on her way over to the door, pulling it open and coming face to face with Jay. "Hey can we talk?" he asked looking at her. "I'm not really in the mood to talkkk" Zoey slurred as she went to close the door when he stopped her. 

The blonde sighed walking into the room and over to the counter looking for another tequila bottle she was sure she had somewhere. "What are you doing? we gotta talk about this?" Jay said clearly getting frustrated. "and I said I don't wanna talkkk" she replies with a sigh drunkenly rolling her head in his direction. " Zoey I know you're hurting, I just want you to talk to me about how your feeling so maybe I can help," Jay said. 

Zoey scoffed, "Don't you get it Jay YOU CAN'T HELP ME. You're better off as far away from me as possible." Zoey said yelling at first but by the time she finished speaking her words were soft. "Do I even get a say in this? What I want?" he asked. "No, I'm not watching you get hurt or killed because of me or my job. I think you should probably go." Zoey said trying to fight her tears. "Zoey please?" Jay said softly the hurt clear in his voice. "JAY JUST GO! PLEASE" Zoey snapped shocking Jay a bit but he turned and left slamming the hotel door behind him. 

Zoey just fell to the floor and started sobbing, she knew deep down it was better to cut ties before he got hurt like Shay, Gideon and now her child. She just wanted to run away and save everyone else from the pain she brought everywhere she went. 

With a deep sigh, the blonde picked herself up off the floor and drunkenly left the hotel with her room key, phone and wallet after showering and getting changed into a short red mini dress and did her makeup. Zoey walked out of the hotel trying not to stumble so much clearly drunk as she got into a cab and headed towards one of her and Shay's favourite clubs. 

Marriot Hotel, Quantico Virginia

1 Week Later

Zoey woke up in her hotel to the worst hangover in her entire life, the blonde groaned looking around realizing she was in her hotel in Virginia? when the hell did she get back here? The blond sighed standing up and noticing half a bottle of tequila sitting on a nearby table, she grabbed the bottle taking a couple of chugged of the clear liquid that burnt her throat. Zoey knew she was heading downhill and fast but she also didn't care anymore. 

The blonde chugged the entire bottle back before setting the glass down on the table. Zoey sighed looking over at her badge, gun sitting next to her bed. The blonde walked over collected them and put them in her duffle bag before she walked out of the room holding her room keys.

FBI Academy, Quantico Virginia 

Severide took a cab to the office and walked into the BAU office noticing it was completely empty. They must be out on a case, she thought as she walked up the stairs and into Hotch's office setting her badge and gun on his desk before leaving shutting his door behind her. The blonde took a shaky breath as she went and cleaned out her entire desk other than a pile of case files she left neatly on the desk. 

She knew she should say goodbye but she couldn't answer the questions they'd ask her because she herself didn't even have the answers. Zoey let out a deep shaky breath as she walked out of the office and into the elevator for the last time fighting the tears that were threatening to spill. 

Marriot Hotel, Quantico Virginia

It didn't take Zoey long to return back to her hotel room with a bottle of tequila in hand as she began to pack up a few things as she continued to drink straight from the bottle. the blonde knew she was ment to be at med at some point over the last few days for check ups but she ended up blackout drunk back in Virginia instead. It wasn't like Zoey needed to be cleared for work or any job she resigned and had a ton of money saved over the last 5 years since all she did was work none stop. As Zoey finished off the bottle she wondered where she'd go, maybe to go visit Shay? than probably get a ton of alchole and head up to her brother's cabin north of Chicago. With a deep sigh the blonde grabbed her bag and set off to the airport in a cab. 

The entire trip Zoey was lost in thought drinking the entire flight back to Chicago, by the time the plane landed she had to pretend to be sober she was so intoxicated. The blonde walked through the airport and made her way to the carpool lane where usually Jay's truck would be sitting waiting for her; but this time is wasn't. 

Zoey let out a shaky breath before climbing into a cab and heading towards the one place that used to comfort her.