[obx au] lexi carter

- doubts and lies

tw : none
words : 1,2k+

It has been two days now since I last heard of JJ. The next morning after our kiss, I had woken up in a cold empty bed. All of his stuff had disappeared with him. I had texted him to check if he was okay but I had got nothing in reply. I hadn't thought much of it at first, still high from my feelings of the previous night. Instead, I had just replayed the scene over and over again. And while I had been doing that, something had hit me. Not once during my moment with JJ, I had thought of Rafe. Surely, JJ was not the first guy I had kissed after my breakup with Rafe. I had kissed Kelce, and one or two other guys at parties during my year in France. But every time, thoughts of Rafe had popped up in my head. Thoughts of how his lips felt different against mine, of how he would have held me differently from the other guys. And especially thoughts of how things were so much better with him.

But with JJ, none of these thoughts had come through my head. The only thing I had thought of was JJ. How it had felt to have my body pressed against his. How his hands had felt in my hair and on my lower back. How his perfume had been intoxicating me. And how right it had felt when he had kissed me.

But now, all I could think about was why he was avoiding me. Why he wasn't replying to my texts. I knew he was fine and his phone worked, because he was texting John B. My poor friend had stuttered so much when I had asked him who was texting him that I had thought he was having a stroke or something. But eventually he had told me who it was and I hadn't asked more questions. It was mine and JJ's shit, and I hadn't wanted to put John B in an uncomfortable position knowing that JJ was his best-friend.

Instead, I was spending my hours thinking of every little thing I could have said or done wrong. Of course, I knew what type of guy JJ was with girls. The make-out-and-never-call-back-after type of guy. But the kiss I had shared with him wasn't anything I had witnessed him doing with other girls. Yeah, JJ didn't care much about privacy, so I had seen him kissing a lot of girls before. And not one time he had been as sweet as he had been with me. And while he had hooked up with the other girls right after their kiss, and that I invited him to sleep with me, he hadn't tried anything else. So how could he be treating me like the other girls? I wasn't any girl! I was his best friend. I deserved more than being ghosted.

Rehashing the situation over and over, I ended up thinking that maybe, it was for the best that JJ was ignoring me. We were best friends after all. What would happen to our friendship if we went further? And what would happen if it didn't work after all. Being in the same circle of friends as your ex was not an easy thing, I knew that all too well. And my relationship with JJ was not the one I had with Rafe before we got together. JJ was my best friend. And even though the 'no pogue-on-pogue macking' rule had been already broken by Kie and Pope, this was different. Because I couldn't afford to lose JJ.

It would break me. But I still deserved an explanation.

❀。• *₊°。 ❀°。

Earlier in the afternoon, I had packed all my things in my car to get back to Hollow Creek a couple of hours later. Midsummer was coming soon and I had promised my parents I would be there. Plus, I was starting to desperately miss Sarah and Joy.

I was sitting on the porch sofa, talking with John B, when I caught sight of JJ. A surprised look appeared on his face when he noticed me.

"You told me she was leaving today." He told John B with a frown.

"Oh waw! So now you're ghosting me in real life too? Great." I said, glaring at the blond boy. I couldn't believe he was doing this to me. And for what?

"It's not like that, Lexi. It's- It's-" JJ tried to explain.

"It's what?" I snapped furiously. "What did I possibly do for you to ignore me? Enlighten me please. So, I can stop torturing myself!" I added. I hated making scenes, especially in front of other people, but it was JJ we talked about. I needed to know.

"Okay, I think someone is calling me right now." John B rose from the couch, his phone in hands. Surely the screen was black and no one was calling him. "Yup, that's Sarah. I'll leave the two of you." He said, almost running inside to escape the argument that was about to come.

"So?" I got on my feet and crossed my arms on my chest, waiting for JJ to explain himself.

The boy took off his cap and ran a hand in his messy hair. "You don't understand. I didn't ghost you." He tried, but even him wasn't succeeding to convince himself.

"No? Then can you tell me why you didn't reply to any of my texts, while you still texted John B? Why did you run like a thief the morning after you kissed me?! What did I do to you?!!" I asked, a painful lump starting to form in my throat.

JJ started to walk back and forth on the porch. "You did nothing Lexi. It's not you. It's more complicated than that." He said, searching his words.

I rolled my eyes at what he had just said. "Oh, please JJ. Stop with the it's-not-you-it's-me thing. I'm not some girl you randomly made out with and that you can lie to. I'm your best friend, don't I deserve an explanation?"

"Alright, I have a girlfriend!" The boy blurted, eyes wide when he realized what he had said.

My jaw clenched, and I swallowed hard, causing my throat to ache even more. I looked him dead in the eyes, even if he seemed to desperately avoid my gaze. When I spoke again, my voice was calm and cold as ice.

"So first you ghost me, and now you lie to me?" I nodded, fighting back the tears that threatened to roll on my cheeks. I was too angry at him to let him see me cry right now. "I guess we don't have anything else to say to each other." I declared.

I glanced at him one last time when I passed in front of him to exit the porch. One last disappointed and angry glance. And I could tell he was holding back some words. His mouth was slightly open, ready to form words. But nothing came out of it. Instead, he watched as I left the Chateau to my car.

Only then I allowed the tears rolling down my cheeks. And as I drove back to Hollow Creek, one question haunted my thoughts. Why was I always picking the complicated guys who would always end up hurting me?

❀。• *₊°。 ❀°。

author's note : Probably not what you were expecting after the last chapter... But honestly I can't help writing sad stuff. And we're talking about JJ, it cannot be simple. Anyway, thank you for reading me, have a nice day/night🌞