[obx au] lexi carter

- truthful confessions

tw : mentions of physical abuses, mentions of drugs
words : 1,4k+

It's been thirty minutes now that JJ and I were sitting on the floor of his room. Neither him nor I had said a word. He finally seemed peaceful, and I didn't want to upset him again with my probably wrong choice of words.

Eventually, JJ broke the silence. "You wanted to know why I ran away after that night? Why I distanced myself from you? This is why." He said in a raspy voice.

I turned my face towards his, searching further explanations in his eyes. Noticing the frown on my face, the blond clenched his jaw and continued. "I can't be with you because you deserve better than this." He gestured to his messy room. "You deserve someone who'll spoil you with amazing gifts. Someone who'll take you to every corner of the earth just to tell you that, despite every landscape, you're still the most beautiful thing in the entire world. I can't even afford to take you out on a fancy restaurant on Figure Eight."  He looked down at the last sentence.

I opened my mouth to protest but JJ spoke first again. "But most of all, you deserve someone who'll protect you no matter what. And look at me, I can't even protect myself against my goddamn father. I'm fucking useless." His voice faded to a whisper at the end.

My heart ached hearing how bad he viewed himself. Tears even came in my eyes but I tried my hardest not to let them fall. I moved and kneeled in front of JJ. I took his hands in mine slowly, searching for the right words to say.

"Hey." I said to get him to look up at me. "Now, you'll listen to me." I started in a gentle yet firm voice. "You're not useless. You're an amazing person, JJ. Don't let anybody make you think otherwise. You're funny, you're kind, you have a heart of gold. And you're strong. JJ, you're so strong. You've protected me since the night we first met. Remember that guy that had insulted me at that boneyard party a few years ago?" He seemed to think for a while. "You punched him so hard that I'm pretty sure I saw one of his teeth fly to the sand." I chuckled, recalling the memory. To my relief, a weak smile also drew on JJ's lips.

"You've never stopped protecting me since then." I continued. "At this year's bonfire..." I didn't dwell too much on this memory though. "Even last night, you protected me from this awful movie John B had chosen." This time a real chuckle escaped his mouth, and it filled my body with butterflies. "As for the money, JJ you really think I care about that sort of thing? I would never have broken up with Rafe if I did."

A cloud darkened JJ's face at the mention of my ex-boyfriend. A look of hurt also crossed his features. Shit, I thought. Almost perfect speech. If I had just kept my mouth shut. I cursed myself in my head.

The blond boy plunged his gaze in mine. He took a deep breath and said in a pained voice. "I just want you to know that, if your heart is torn between me and him..." He took a few seconds before finishing his sentence. "You should go back with him." His eyebrows knitted as pain showed on his face.

My jaw almost fell on the ground. I frowned, from confusion but also from pain. Pain that he could think I wanted to go back with Rafe. Before I could say anything, JJ added. "He's what's best for you. Lot of money. Great future ahead of him. No criminal record. Perfect life. Perfect family." He looked down at the last line. "Everyone can tell he still loves you, despite everything he had told you at his party. You should have seen the two of you at Midsummer."

I nodded while biting my lower lip, registering JJ's words. I took a deep breath before replying. "JJ, you're pushing me towards a man who almost hit me."

I forced myself not to look away as the boy in front of me lifted his head, eyes widening. Surprise soon let room to hurt on his face, and then anger as his features hardened. "Did he-"

"No." I cut him off. "But that doesn't change the fact that he almost did." I winced as a glimpse of memory traveled in my mind. I then refocused on the blond. "Maybe he still loves me. And I won't lie, maybe a part of me still loves him too. But he was not the one for me. Because he chose the drugs over me. Because I wasn't enough for him." My mind drifted off, and for a moment, I forgot that I was supposed to comfort JJ.

My head fell towards the floor, too heavy with the intrusive thoughts inside it. However, all the weight faded when JJ made me look up at him with a soft hand on my cheek.

"You're enough." He whispered before crashing his lips on mine.

I was taken aback at first, but I quickly kissed him back, my hands tangling through his hair. The kiss was soft, reassuring. Soon enough, my body felt numb. The only thing preventing me from thinking that I was going to faint were the growing butterflies in my stomach. I felt like I was floating on a cloud. My head was light, the only thing I could think of was the blond kissing me. When we broke away, JJ rested his forehead on mine.

I only reopened my eyes while pulling my head back a little, in order to see his face clearly. My hands slid from his hair to cup his jaw. Looking in his piecing blue eyes, a wave of pure joy and comfort overwhelmed me and a genuine smile appeared on my lips. JJ smiled back as he brushed a strand of hair out of my face.

"You're enough, too." I whispered before pressing my lips on his again.

This time, his hands found my waist and pressed me further into him. I was now straddling him, my chest tightly pressed against his. His grip on me was gentle, like he was afraid my body would break under his touch.

"You're more than enough, JJ." I said in-between kisses.

As my hands found their way back into the boy's messy hair, the kiss grew more heated. The butterflies in my stomach stirred stronger as well. His hands on my waist were no longer gentle and were pressing harder against my skin. My heartbeat grew faster and my breath messier.

I was almost running out of air when, instead of JJ's lips, I tasted something metallic and unpleasant. I broke away from JJ only to discover that the cut on his lower lip had reopened and that blood was spread on his mouth.

"Oh my god! JJ, I'm so sorry!" I gasped with wide eyes. I searched for something to clean him up in the room but I was interrupted by the boy's hand coming up my face.

I stayed still as he softly brushed my lips with his thumb. For a moment, I let myself sink at the feeling, closing my eyes. When I reopened them, JJ was watching me with starry eyes, but I couldn't help but notice the mischievous smirk playing on his lips.

"Oh, sweetheart, don't ever apologize for kissing me." He said in a teasing tone, sending me a wink at the same time.

Heat immediately rushed to my cheeks and I could feel them turning from pink to bright red as he kept his gaze on me. I bit my lower lip and felt the metallic taste of blood. JJ's blood. I quickly regained my composure and gazed down at JJ's cut.

"We should clean it before you get an infection." I said, moving to get up.

However, JJ was quick to replace me firmly on his lap with the help of his hands on my waist. "Maybe a magic kiss would heal it?" He suggested with an arched brow.

I sighed and rolled my eyes at his words. But I still leaned my face only inches from his, and then pressed a gentle kiss on the corner of his lips, the side that wasn't cut.

"I still think antiseptic would work better." I insisted, sending him a look saying that he hadn't very much of a choice. "Now get up. We need to go."

❀。• *₊°。 ❀°。

author's note : Finally some communication between the two of them! And not only verbal communication... Anyway, again, thank you for reading me, have a good day/night🌞