Bad Choices || Auston Matthews

58

Sadie's POV

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It's been about two weeks since I told Auston that he's a fuck up. He hasn't contacted me at all since then, not to ask to see Caleb or anything. It's been radio silence since that day.

I've asked Mitch about Auston and he said that Auston isn't himself and has just been going through the motions of literally everything. He doesn't joke around anymore and he's been playing like shit at games.

I feel bad but at the same time I don't. He did this to himself. We agreed not to let feelings get in the way of our friendship when William and I broke up. Obviously, that's impossible with Auston seeing as he can't ever keep his mouth shut about those type of things.

Anyway, I just pulled up to Auston's because I'm tired of him ignoring our son, not like Caleb knows what's going on but it's still not fair on him that his already busy father is choosing not to see him in his free time. If this keeps up, I will be taking Auston to court to set up visitations or for him to revoke his parental rights because it's not gonna be long until Caleb is going to start asking for his dad and I'm gonna have to just lie and say 'he's busy' when I know damn well he's just choosing not to see his son.

I parked my car and got out. I grabbed Caleb out of his carseat and approached the front door and rang the doorbell. Two minutes went by and no answer. I know damn well he's home, his dog is in the window and his car is parked in the driveway.

I rang the doorbell again. No answer. Okay, last resort is to ring it over and over until he gets annoyed enough to answer the door. I rang it about thirty more times until the front door swung open.

"What the fuck do you want, Sadie?" He snapped.

"I figured since you're not answering calls or texts and haven't seen your son in two weeks, I'd just pop by so you can see him" I replied nonchalantly. He rolled his eyes.

"I don't wanna fuck our kid up since apparently all I do is fuck shit up" he mumbled.

"Don't be dense, Auston. I meant relationship wise, but if you wanna bring our son into this, you're gonna be fucking up your relationship with him if you choose not to ever spend any time with him" I replied.

"Just have William raise him, that's what you planned for anyway" he shrugged.

"Oh my god, Auston..." I groaned.

"William and I no more, remember? You broke us up and there was never any plan for William to raise Caleb. You're his dad." I continued.

"Whatever. I'm just a fuck up and I don't want to negatively effect Caleb with that fact" he told me.

"So... You don't want to see Caleb?" I asked. He shook his head 'no'.

"Auston, grow the fuck up! Maybe I shouldn't have called you a fuck up but don't do this to Caleb, he's gonna start asking for you soon and what am I supposed to tell him when you're wallowing in your own self pity and refusing to see him because of it?!" I snapped.

"You need to grow the fuck up too, Sadie! You keep pinning all of the blame for everything that happened onto me when you're not blame free either! You're a liar and a cheater, you're not as good of a person as you think you are! You constantly play victim when you do all of this shit to yourself! You wanna call me a fuck up but look at yourself in the mirror, it takes one to know one!" He shouted at me. I was taken aback by his outburst.

"Go fuck yourself, Auston" I spat before walking back to my car with Caleb. I put Caleb back into his carseat and got into the car and sped off.

I broke down into tears when I started to drive. I didn't wanna show that I was hurt to Auston because it would just show that he's getting to me.

He was right. I am a fuck up. Not him. I've been blaming him for every issue William and I had when we were together when I was the one who cheated and lied. I've lied to everybody in my life at one point or another. I'm not a good person and Auston is right. Until this point I've refused to take any type of accountability for my actions and wrongdoings and that needs to change.

I'm actively pushing away anybody who tells me that I'm doing wrong and that needs to change. I've pushed Caleb's dad away to the point that he doesn't even want to see his son.

I guess now is the time to admit that I'm a shitty person and I need to change that.