Bad Choices || Auston Matthews

63

I sat on the thought of pursuing a relationship with Auston all night. I'm still confused. Maybe Kody is right? Maybe I should just dive into it and hope for the best?

I just so conflicted. On one hand, I just want to flat out tell him no, so we can both move on but on the other hand, how can we move on if I refuse to give us a chance?

I don't want to cause more problems than I already have but I feel like I'm creating more by not giving him a chance. I don't know... I'm just so confused and conflicted.

And to top it all off, I didn't sleep a blink last night because Caleb was throwing up all night. I'm stressed.

Caleb seems to be feeling better now, thankfully. I think all of the sugar he ate yesterday upset his stomach. It was his first time eating cake and ice cream and I think it was too much for him all at once.

Auston is supposed to be swinging by to pick up Caleb any minute now. His mom texted me to let me know that he apologized to her and I told her that he's gonna be taking Caleb, so she can spend some quality time with her son and grandson without me around.

Speaking of Auston, he just texted me to let me know that he's here. I picked Caleb up out of his play pen and opened the front door. Auston just got out of his car and was walking towards my house.

"Hey buddy! I missed you!" Auston greeted Caleb, taking him from my arms and giving him a great big kiss on the cheek.

"Don't let him have too much sugar. He was up all night puking because he ate so much sugar yesterday" I told him.

"I won't. My mom and I are gonna be having lunch if you wanna join us" he offered.

"I'd love to, but I haven't slept in over twenty-four hours. I need to take a nap" I chuckled.

"Okay, is it okay if I bring Caleb back tomorrow morning?" He asked.

"Yeah, that's fine" I replied. It fell awkwardly silent between us. Auston opened the rear passenger side door to his car and put Caleb in his car seat.

"Can I have his bottle and diaper bag please?" He asked. I nodded and ran inside to get those things for him.

I came back out with them and handed them to him.

"Be good for daddy, baby. I love you" I told Caleb, leaning into the car to give him a kiss on the forehead.

"Did you give what we talked about last night any thought?" Auston asked me, shutting the car door and pressing a button on his key fob to start his car so the air conditioning was on for Caleb.

"I'm really conflicted. I don't know what to do..." I sighed.

"Conflicted about what?" He asked, leaning on his car.

"Just everything. I don't wanna cause more issues by giving you a chance but I'm causing issues by not giving you a chance. I don't wanna traumatize Caleb. I just don't know what the best thing to do is." I explained.

"I gotcha. Just know that if you do decide to give us a chance, we can take it slow." He replied.

"I'd like for us to take it slow but neither of us are good at that" I chuckled.

"You're right but it'd be worth a shot. Especially when we have that little guy to think about" he laughed lightly, patting the top of his car referring to Caleb.

"Kody told me to just go for it but I'm still not sure about it" I told him.

"Kody told you to give me a chance? I'm shocked, your brothers hate me" he asked. I nodded.

"I was in shock too, but he said that Caleb deserves a chance at having his family whole and if we don't work out, he's still young enough where it's not gonna affect him too much" I stated.

"I mean, in the end it's up to you but when the guy that hates me the most thinks you should give me a chance, maybe that's saying something?" He suggested.

"I just don't wanna make any rash decisions" I shrugged.

"It's not a rash decision. We've known each other for almost three years and have had lingering feelings for each other the whole time, we have a kid together." He explained. I sighed. I really don't have a great reason to not give him a chance other than just fear of the unknown.

"You're right. I guess we're doing this" I chuckled lightly, grabbing his hand.

"You're giving me a chance?" He asked.

"Yup. I guess I am" I replied. A smile painted across his face when I told him that I was giving him a chance.

"You're not just giving me a chance because I really want you to, it's because you want to give me a chance, right?" He asked.

"Yeah, I didn't have really any good reasons to not give you a chance other than just being scared." I answered.

"I'm glad you're giving us a chance, whenever you get caught up on sleep, I'll talk to you about going on a date" he smiled.

"Sounds good to me, I'll see you tomorrow" I smiled back, giving him a hug.

We parted ways. I walked back into the house and he got into his car and left.

I'm still not too entirely sure if I made the right choice but I guess we'll see in due time.