I don't blame you. I never did.

Part 22 - The Start Of A New Friendship.

Y/n pov

My eyes darted open but they quickly decided to seal back shut. There was light shining in the room, that was weird. That's when the memories of the day I've just had come flooding back to me. Realising where I'm supposed to be, I force my eyes open again and bolt upright. I half expected to wake up back in my cell, surely yesterday was a consequence for my lack of sleep.

I look to my left and sure enough, there he is. My Bucky, sat in a chair next to my bed asleep. I'm still not fully sure this is real so I need to make sure. I climb out of bed and ever so cautiously walk over to the chair holding Buckys sleeping form. I stand next to him and reach out to touch him. I was vigilant at first, but I soon figured if this isn't real then no harm done, if it is real then I know Bucky won't mind.

I extended my arm out and started touching his hair, playing with it, moving it around, I used to love doing this to Bucky. He starts to stir a little in his sleep, I realise he is waking up. I take a few steps back from the chair. I notice his form straighten and tense a little, he must have woken up. He darts over to the bed and realises I'm not there. Before I can say something and let him know I'm here, I hear his own voice shout. "Y/n!" He screams at the bed, he quickly turns around, his hands running through his hair, unsure of what to do.

That's when he sees me, he stands there looking at me before running up to me. I do the same thing, I needed him to hold me. I've gone too long without a friendly human touch, I needed this.

I lunge myself into his arms, he wraps his arms around my waist and lifts me up, my arms are attached to his neck, while my legs soon wrap themselves around his waist. He spins me around a few times before gently placing me back on the floor. We lean our foreheads together, not letting go of each other.

"Promise me this is real" I say to him with pleading eyes. He leans down and presses his lips against mine. Both of our lips moving perfectly in sync with each other. We pulled away from each other, our foreheads pressed together once again. "I Promise" he lets out. He immediately embraces me in a hug and holds me close to him, I don't want him to let go but I am in desperate need of a shower.

"I'm gonna get a shower" I tell Bucky as I reluctantly pull away from him. "Okay, would you like me to wait here for you?" He asks me a soft look forming on his face. "No, I'm okay thanks. I'll meet you in a bit" I tell him, I try to give him a reassuring smile but I think it came across more sad. "Oh, okay. Well I'll probably be in the living room with the others, I'm sure they'll all want to see you and make sure your okay." He sounded a little disappointed.

After he left I grabbed a pair of sweat pants and a tight fitting vest top and went into the bathroom. I turned the shower on full heat once again and stepped in. I remembered my first few days at hydra, the hope that Bucky and the team would save me. The first few days, while they were waiting for my abilities to make an appearance, they tried to get as much information about the avengers out of me as they could. Obviously, I didn't rat them out, any of them. I couldn't, I care about them all too much.

They wanted to know all the details on them. All of them, Clint's family, Tony's projects, how stable Bucky is, how easily Bruce turns green. They wanted it all, anything they could get. However, they didn't get anything they wanted. Just a few death threats hear and there, they didn't appreciate that.

I forced myself out of the shower deciding I didn't want to go any deeper into my thoughts. I wrapped a towel around me, ignoring the new scars and fresh bruising, and brushed my hair. Nothing had changed in my room except a few of Buckys clothes were in there, I assume he slept in here while I was gone.

I realised I haven't seen Alfie yet and i started to worry about him. Once my hair was brushed, my body was mostly dry. I dried the few parts that weren't dry and quickly got dressed and departed my room on the search for Alfie.

I head down the stairs, I figured I'd check the living room first. I wasn't really prepared to see everyone again but Alfie was more important to me than my concerns.

I kept my head down at the floor as I walked into the living room. Apparently that was a mistake as I walked directly into someone making me stumble back and fall directly on my ass. "Ow, sorry" I mumble as I hit the floor. "Are you okay?" I hear Tony ask as he reaches down and grabs my arm to help me up. "Yeah I'm fine, I was just looking for Alfie." I say trying to keep my voice quiet. "Check Sam's room, he's been close to Alfie recently" Nat says from the couch. "Thanks" I mutter as I leave out the doors.

I get half way down the hall before I turn back around and enter the living room yet again. "Where is Sam's room?" I ask anyone who's listening. "It's the room opposite mine" Nat tells me with a smile I could have sworn was sympathetic. That's why I didn't want to see the team, I don't want sympathy, I don't want people to feel sorry for me, or tread on eggshells around me. That's why I'm not going to tell them what hydra did to me to give up there secrets, why I'm not going to tell them that no matter what shit they put me through I didn't tell them anything.

I made my way up to Sam's room. I gently knock on his door and wait patiently outside of it. I heard some noise coming from inside the room. Soon after the door opened and Sam peered his head round. "Hey y/n. Come on in" he says rather cheerily while opening the door wider so I could get in.

"So what's up?" He asks me with a smile. I liked that about Sam , he was so friendly and he didn't belittle anyone, plus he's easy to talk to, he's also not treating me like a broken child, he's just treating me like a normal human. "Oh, I was just wondering if you had Alfie?" I ask him with a semi smile, it was hard not to smile around Sam, he was just so cheery and his good mood definitely radiates off him.

"Yeah I do, sorry I hope it was okay. I've just taken a liking to the little guy." Sam tells me, his smile not leaving his face. "Course it's okay, I'm glad he had someone yano? Thanks for keeping him company" I say to him. "I think it was more for me than him" he says as he laughs. Alfie wanders between Sam's legs he looked adorable. We both start to laugh at him. He notices me and darts over to me, using my clothes to climb up and sit on my shoulder. "Ow ya twat" I giggle at the little tabby.

"Hey Sam?" I question, "yeah?" He replies back to me. "Could I stay in here with you for a little bit please?"I don't even ask it with caution. That's how easy it is to talk to Sam. "Course you can" he says as he ushers me to a spot next to him on the bed.

"So how come your not down with the others?" He asks me as I get comfortable next to him. "I'm just not ready for the whole 'how are you?' 'Wanna talk about it?' charade. And people stepping one glass around me. I dunno I just don't like it" I confess. "Ah well in that case..." he trails off before jumping on the bed and dramatically falling on his knees clasping his hands together. "Oh y/n, how did you do it? I'm here if you need me! Ouch that piece of glass really hurt" he pretends and fake cries when he says 'ouch'.

After he's finished being a dick I'm lying on the bed in a fit of hysterical laughter which makes Sam also fall into an uncontrollable laugh. We were interrupted by the door being swung open. Steve stood there out of breath. "I FOUND HER!" He screams rather loudly. The avengers all enter the room after they heard Steve.

Me and Sam sat up wiping tears from our eyes. "What's going on?" I say still smiling and laughing every now and then, me and Sam kept setting each other off again. "Holy shit doll! You scared the crap out of me!" Bucky exclaims as he walks in the room. "Sorry, I was just talking to Sam." I tell them wiping my eyes yet again. "Well I originally came to tell you that dinner will be ready in about ten minutes before you gave me a heart attack" he says laughing a little as he walks over and hugs me. "We'll be down soon" Sam tells them. They all leave out of the door.

"I'm not hungry Sam, would you mind covering for me?" I ask him with slight puppy dog eyes. "Yeah don't worry, now are you actually not hungry or do you just not want to deal with people?" He asks me with a knowing look. "A bit of both?" I semi question causing is both to laugh. "I got you" he tells me.

We both walk out of his room, we stop at the stairs and give each other a hug before going our separate ways. Sam goes downstairs to the dining room and I go back into my room. I got changed out of my sweatpants and into shorts, so I was in my shorts and vest top.

I turn the tv on, grab a pillow and blanket and get comfy on the floor. I play supernatural, it's kinda like my comfort show now. It doesn't take me long before I end up falling asleep snuggled up on the floor.