I don't blame you. I never did.

Part 9 - I'm Glad You Told Me.

Nat's pov

I left the living room to go to bed, it was getting late and I was getting tired. I hoped y/n was okay after what happened at games night. Wanda came and said that she spoke to her, that's she's okay and they sorted everything out. Wanda didn't want to go into much detail, said it wouldn't be fair on y/n. We all accepted that as a fair answer.

I was on my way up the stairs to get to my room, it was on the same floor as Buckys room just on the opposite side. I thought I heard some faint crying at the top of the stairs so I moved a little faster to investigate.

I wasn't watching where I was going, I looked up and saw y/n crying and what seemed like running from something, I didn't have time to process what was happening because before I knew it me and y/n crashed into each other causing us both to go stumbling back.

Y/n quick gathered herself back up before scurrying off down the stairs again. "Y/n! Y/n wait!" I called after her. She didn't wait, she carried on running. "Y/n please!" I heard Bucky call out from behind me. I knew something must have been wrong because she didn't even stop for Bucky.

I felt it best I didn't follow her, she needed time to be alone I think, she clearly wasn't in the mood for people that's for sure.

I turn to face Bucky and place a hand on his chest and rather aggressively pushed him back into his room. I pushed him onto his bed to he was sat down, I stood in front of him with my arms crossed and a stern look on my face. I notice the hoodie I let y/n borrow lying on Buckys floor.

"What the fuck happened barnes?" I question him. "I- I don't even know Nat" he starts. I notice his expression change from confused to worried. "One minute she was fine and the next she was freaking out, like something clicked. I don't know what's going on with her Nat. I'm worried about her." He told me a more detailed version of what happened so I could get an idea of something triggered her.

I pulled him into a quick hug before placing my hand on his shoulder "let me go talk to her okay? I'll see if I can get through to her, yeah?" I reassure him. He looks up at me, I can see him trying to smile "thank you Nat" he says. I can tell he's genuinely concerned about her.

I turn around and head for the door to go find out what happened on y/n's end. I was stopped by Wanda at the bottom of the stairs. "Nat, hey! What's up with y/n? I thought I heard crying so I went to check on her and she's locked herself in the bathroom?" She asked me visibly worried about her. "Don't worry it's okay, I'm going to go talk to her now. She'll be okay" I give her a reassuring smile.

I walk into y/n's room and close the door behind me. I walk up to her bathroom door and gently knock on. "Y/n sweetie, it's me, Nat. Can you open the door for me please" I ask her trying to sound as calming as possible. She doesn't reply but I can still hear her muffled cries. I walk over to her bed and sit on the edge.

"Y/n I've just talked to Bucky, he's really worried about you, and quite frankly, so am I" I pause to try and hear a response. When I'm met with silence I start again "I'm not here to judge you y/n. And I'm not going to hurt you sweetie. I just want to talk to you. Your my friend, I want to know that you okay. I care about you".

I hear the bathroom door open, my eyes dart over and see y/n running towards me, as soon as she reached me she braced me in a tight hug and cried into my shoulder.

I pulled her away and stood her between my legs as I held both her hands in mine. "Can you tell me what happened with you and Bucky?" I ask her cautiously. Instead of responding she grabs my hand and pulls me into her bathroom and locks the door behind us.

She takes a deep breath as she turns to face away from me, I see her grab either side of her shirt. "Y/n what are you-" I was cut off when she listed her shirt and my eyes were met by a whole lot of deep scars and some bruising that looked fairly fresh on her back near her side.

I find my hand going towards her back and gently touching her scars, she flinches at first, but soon enough she lets me carry on. She turns around to face me once I drew my hand back. I see more scars and cuts covering her abdomen. The bruising I saw on her back lead all the way around her left side and spread a riff her stomach. It looked painful. My eyes start welling up. I can't even begging to imagine what she's been through.

"I didn't want Bucky to see this" she began, her voice shaky and her breath uneven "he'd feel guilty, and I don't want to put that on him. I freaked out when he started lifting up my shirt. I didn't know what to do so I ran. God I'm so fucking stupid" she finished I notice she's starting to panic.

I quickly grab her and pull her close to me, embracing her I'm in a hug. I just hold her tight as she cried into my shoulder. She calms down after a few minutes of me holding and cooing her.

"Y/n, I'm sure Bucky would understand if you told him. But it's okay if your not ready. Have you been to medical to get that bruising checked? It looks pretty painful." I ask her. She shakes her head in response. "Okay, would you like me to take you down there and we can get it looked at?" I ask her wanting to make sure she's okay.

"No, thank you though. It will heal, I've had worse than this, besides it doesn't hurt too bad unless I touch it" she tells me. I just want to drag her ass down to medical and get her checked out but I know no good will come from that.

"Okay well the offer is still there if you want it, just please come to me if it starts hurting or anything okay?" At least this way I can semi keep an eye on her. "Okay, thank you nat" she mumbled barely audible. "I'm glad you told me y/n" I tell her truthfully. "Me too" she replies with the best smile she can give.

"Would you like me to take you back up to Bucky?" I ask her not wanting to leave her alone "no, I think I'll just stay here, could you tell him I'm sorry though, please" she asks me shyly. "Of course I will. And if you don't wanna be alone or something is wrong tonight just come to me, you can stay in my room whenever you need. I'm on the same floor as Bucky just on the right side of the hall instead" I tell her, at least it's out there, is she needs someone ever then I will be there. She's my friend and I care about her. "Thank you Nat." She gives me a genuine smile in which I reciprocate before I leave her room.

I walk up the stairs onto my floor and knock on Buckys door. "Hey" he says rather groggily. "How is she?" "She's okay, She said she's sorry. I can't tell you what's up though Bucky, it's not my place to say. She said she's gonna stay in her room now, I'm just gonna grab her some of my clothes and head to bed. You should get some sleep yourself." I tell him honestly. He just nods in acceptance.

I walk into my room grab an oversized T-shirt and some shorts for y/n to sleep in. I also grab a new outfit for her to wear tomorrow.

I walk back down the stairs yet again into y/n's room I gently tap on the door before waking in. She's just sat on the end of her bed. "I got you some stuff to sleep in tonight and a new outfit for tomorrow. If you don't like it just come tell me and you can pick out something else. Until we can take you clothes shopping" I smile at her. She grins excitedly. I assume she's not been allowed to do things like this since hydra and all.

"Thank you Nat. It really does mean a lot to me" she tells me. I know she means it. I smile back at here before leaving out her door and back up to my own room.

Y/n's pov

After Nat left the room I got the clothes she left for me to sleep in and made my was into the bathroom to get changed. It was nice getting out of clothes and into shorts and baggy clothes.

I felt relieved that I finally told someone about my scars and opened up a little bit about my time at hydra. It wasn't much but at least it was progress. I was so done with today. So much had happened, but for the first time in a long time I felt safe. And I had that feeling around more than just one person. It was strange to say the least, but it was a nice feeling.

I climbed into the bed and tried to get comfortable. I tossed and turned for about half an hour, I just could not work the bed. I suppose a soft, squishy marshmallow is hard to get comfortable in after being used to sleeping on a hard, cold metal floor.

I grabbed a pillow and a blanket and went to lay on the floor. The carpet was still so much softer than what I was used to, but, I was able to get somewhat comfortable. I managed to drift off to sleep after another half an hour of trying.