I don't blame you. I never did.

Part 30 - Stay This Way Forever.

The past two weeks have been stressful, painful and just down right miserable. At least I've had Bucky by my side the whole time. He never lets me out of his sight. Theres been, sweat, blood, tears and a lot of violence. Literally. My body had been trying to get rid of the serum anyway it sees fit.

It started with throwing up, then excessive sweating, then puking blood. My whole body got itchy, i felt uncomfortable in my own skin. I even started lashing out at Bucky when it got to much, he has had to restrain me a lot these two weeks. I probably couldn't have done it without him though. And he's not complained once, nor has he held anything against me.

I do, however, think this period of crap is over. Finally. All I need now is one hell of a rest and I should be good to go. Bucky is in the shower, while I wait for him to be ready on his bed. I got a shower just before he did.

Bucky steps out of the bathroom in just sweatpants with no T-shirt. I quickly whine for him to come to bed acting like a child. Truth be told, I'm just exhausted and want to cuddle with my Bucky and sleep until next year. "You okay doll?" Bucky asks me climbing into bed next to me. "Yeah. Just tired" I admit. "Wanna get some sleep if you feel better tomorrow we can go out?" Bucky offers me. "Yes please" I agree.

I instantly feel calm as I lay my head on Buckys warm chest. His hand instinctively found its place on my head, stroking my hair. Sleep came almost instantly. The exhaustion my body was feeling finally taking over causing me to drift off into a peaceful sleep.

~~~

I woke up the next morning with Bucky softly stroking my hair. Once my eyes has adjusted to the light I snuggled myself up closer to Bucky and looked up meeting his gorgeous icy blue eyes. "Hey doll" he says giving me a loving smile. "Hey солдат" (soldier) I reply returning the smile.

"How do you feel today doll?" He asks me, still stroking my hair. "Better. Thank you Bucky, for helping me and staying with me and I'm sorry about that" I apologise to him, gesturing to a faded bruise on his chest. I gave that to him earlier this week, I told him I wanted to go outside, thankfully he didn't let me, he held me close to him while I pounded punches into his chest to let me go. I couldn't have done these last few weeks without him. "Don't worry about it doll. I'm glad your okay now. What do you say we go out today, maybe get some donuts from that place Steve took you too." He offers me. I smile up to him with nothing but admiration. "Definitely. I'll go get ready" I tell him excitedly.

I press a short kiss against his lips before getting up and bolting out out the door. I almost knock Steve over while running into my room. "Sorry!" I yell "someones excited" I hear him giggle as I rust past him and into my room closing my door behind me.

I quickly scramble through my clothes trying to find something quick and easy. I'm super excited to be getting out finally. I've been crammed inside for the past few weeks going through hell, I sure as hell need a going out right now. I find some blue jeans and a gray turtle neck top and change into them. I'm still not comfortable with everyone seeing my scars just yet. I brush through my hair and place it in a messy ponytail with a Dutch braid on the top leading into the ponytail.

I make my way into downstairs into the living area to greet everyone, I know they've been worried about me. Bucky warned them to stay out of the room since it would be better for me to be stuck in the room with one person.

"Y/N!" Wanda shouts as she jumps up from her seat and runs to greet me. She embraces me in a rather big hug almost knocking me over in the process. Nat runs up to us with an exited squeal and jumps in on the hug. This time it does cause all of us to topple over. We were all giggling while lying in the floor tangled together. None of us decided to move we were all just enjoying this moment.

Bucky and Steve walks into the room while we were all a tangled laughing mess on the floor. Everyone else in the room who had witnessed the whole interaction were just sat in there original places trying not too laugh at us. "Having fun there doll" Bucky asked the pile of girls since I was at the bottom and couldn't see anything apart from Nat and Wanda. "Yep!" We all shouted in unison valuing us to fall into another fit of laughter. The two men just stand there shaking their heads while stifling laughter of their own.

"Come on, let's get going" Bucky says bringing me back to reality. I break free from the girls feast and spring up next to Bucky. "Can I drive?" I ask him with puppy dog eyes as I flicker my eyes up to him and blink at him through my eyelashes. He rolls his eyes in a playful manner before placing the keys into my hand.

I say my goodbyes to everyone with a smile as I start walking off with Bucky. "Y/n wait!" Nat shouts. I turn around to face her and Wanda who are now getting up and leaning on each other. "Girls night tonight! My room!" Nat announces without giving me an option. I shake my head with a little laugh and agree to a girls night. It's definitely needed after the past few weeks, I've missed my girls.

Me and Bucky get into the car, of course he gave me the keys to the '67 Chevy knowing it's my favourite. "Anything in particular you'd like to do today doll?" He asks me as we start driving off. "I thought we were getting donuts?" I say with a slight pout and a glimmer of sadness in my eyes. Bucky looks at me and let's out a little chuckle. "Yes we are doll. I meant afterwards" he smiles at me. "Oh, could we maybe just wonder around for a bit? I've missed the outside world" I say dramatically causing Bucky to laugh again. "Yes doll we can see the outside world again I'm no longer holding you hostage" he joins in my drama.

We both laugh at each other. A wave of guilt takes over me for a second. I wish we could stay this way forever. Just happy without a care in the world, if only I could just tell him the truth. I know that's not an option. I must prevent him from finding out at all costs, just until I've figured out how to fix this damn problem. For now though, I'll just enjoy my time with Bucky and my family.

~•~•~~•~•~•~

A/N : I once again hate doing these but hey ho.
I'm sorry It's taken so long to update I've been kinda stuck on what to write. Im also sorry this chapter is shit. I do have an idea for later on however I'm stuck on ideas until then so if anyone has any suggestions or requests please don't hesitate to comment or message me I'd love to hear your ideas!

Thanks for sticking with me aha.
Once again sorry for the shit chapter.
Have a nice day/night.