THERE'S A CERTAIN thing about death. It catches you off guard, it shakes your whole world. It's like an internal earthquake, effecting you and everyone around you until there's nothing left to effect.
And though Leilani Diaz's family and close friends were no strangers to death, hearing the flatline on the monitor, watching as Leilani took her last breath; her cold pale skin looking dull in the light, they shattered.
They shattered like the porcelain vase falling off the hallway dresser when Leilani Diaz slammed her bedroom door for the last time. Broken glass, spread all over the wooden floors.
It's no secret that Ashtray was in love with the teenage girl, loving her and everything about her. He's young, so people assume he doesn't know what the fuck he's talking about, but in reality his heart has been dead set on Leilani for months upon months.
Even before he knew that he wanted her, everyone around him knew. Fezco knew. Alo knew. Maddy knew. It was no damn secret, everyone but himself could see it.
The cold sound of the flatline emitting from the monitor next to her bedside shuts off, the nurse dressed in light blue scrubs slightly tilting her head downwards as sniffles and sobs sound out through the small hospital room.
Alex sits in the cold hospital room, holding onto himself as he sobs into Jospeh's shoulder, his whole body shaking with each breath he takes. The nurse slightly pats his shoulder, sliding past him and exiting the room, making sure to close the large wooden door behind herself.
"This is fucked up." Ashtray whispers, his voice breaking with his words. Alex nods, looking at his sisters dead, pale body; her chest no longer rising up and down.
THREE MONTHS LATER
The soft crackle of the autumn leaves crunch under Alex's shoes as he walks through the cemetery, a large red rose in his hand. The grey headstone sits perfectly in the middle of the cemetery, his sisters name sitting in the center of it.
Holding back a tear, he crouched down onto the small patch of grass, looking at all the flowers and small keepsakes sitting on the headstone. Placing the red rose down by her stone, he sits cross legged as he places his hand on the lettering, his fingers tracing her name softly.
"I miss you." He whispers, looking down at the small Polaroid Alo took of her a couple months earlier. Her smile radiates positivity and happiness, something she'll never have again.
"You know, I put your songs on the radio. You've blown up Leilani. Millions upon millions of people have listened to your music, praising you, mourning you. They love you." Alex sniffles as he looks at the grass, picking a piece out of the ground and fiddling with it between his fingers.
"And Ash, he's fucking broken. He barely eats, sleeps, leaves his room. The only time I see him is when he's here, sitting here talking to you. I don't blame him, I'm doing the same shit right now." Alex chuckles, using the back of his hand to wipe the tears that are gliding down his pale skin.
"I got a therapist. She tells me that I need to remember the happy moments with you. Reminisce on the good times, not the bad. And it's hard, it's so fucking hard Lei. All I can think about is watching your body go cold in that hospital bed, knowing there's nothing I could've done." He lets out a soft cry, sniffling and trying to catch his breath as he looks at the small Polaroid again. Shaking his head, he blinks back a couple tears as he looks up at the cloudy sky.
"If you were still here, I know you would be selling out venues. Having multi-million record deals. You really would've loved it. Seeing millions upon millions of people love what you sing, it really makes me happy." He laughs, pulling a small picture out of his pocket and setting it on the grave. The picture shows Ashtray, Alex, Joseph, and Alo all sat in a circle with Leilani leaning over them as she laughs.
"I love you Lei. I'll see you later." Alex whisper as he leans forward, planting a kiss on the stone and pushing himself off the ground; turning around and walking away.
authors note
sorry.
YOU ARE READING
killer queen- ashtray
Fanfiction"𝑠ℎ𝑒𝑠 𝑎 𝑘𝑖𝑙𝑙𝑒𝑟 𝑞𝑢𝑒𝑒𝑛." ashtray x oc doesn't entirely follow euphoria plot no smut