EGO

DESIRE

A month has passed and my wedding is tomorrow. I have accepted my fate to be the wife of Ericson. The preparation for the wedding has been somewhat exciting and seeing the happiness on my parents' faces made it a little worth it.

But when the night took over the sky and silence filled my room, my desires for Devin didn't stop. My want for him got so intense the ache in my belly was felt in the morning.

He said he was Ericson's best man so I had hope that I would get a glimpse of him here and there.

Stop worrying about him, Mina. You're only making things harder for yourself. Make sure you remember to meet Ericson for dinner tonight.

Tangela's agreement with this wedding was kind of disappointing. I was expecting her to talk me out of it but she's been 100% supportive....I didn't like it.

I roamed the fields until it was time for dinner with Ericson. The pretty blue sky and colorful flowers was a boost of dopamine. I couldn't help but smile and laugh as I ran around, letting the breeze brush my face.

Mina, dinner is ready.

Usually, I'm happy to hear Gela's voice but I knew the reason and I got somber. I showered and changed my clothes then entered the dining room. I was surprised to see just Ericson sitting at the table, but I took a seat anyway.

"Hello, Mina. I hope you had a wonderful day."

"I did, thank you. Hope you did as well."

The food was brought out and placed on the table. Everything smelled and looked delicious but my appetite was nearly non-existent. We ate in silence for a while and I was fine with that.... the less talking, the less faking.

"Are you excited about our wedding day?" Ericson asked.

I cursed inside. "Yes, are you?"

"I'm more excited about our wedding night."

My stomach dropped and my hands began to sweat at his words. I knew I would have to share a bed with him but hearing him say it made it all too real.

"Excuse me....I need to use the restroom."

Ericson gave a nod and I left the table. I went to my room to gather my thoughts, deciding I will cut our dinner short once I returned.

Before going back to the dining area, I made way for the bathroom. Walking down the hall, I caught a glimpse of movement through a cracked door. I walked closer, witnessing my future husband taking one of the maids from behind.

His hand covered her mouth as he thrusted her wildly.....I cringed then slowly backed away from the door. After finishing my task, I headed back into the dining room where Ericson stood, looking at portraits.

He turned towards me. "It was wonderful to see you this evening and I can't wait to see you tomorrow. I know you'll be a beautiful bride."

I faked a smile as he kissed my hand. He acted as if he didn't just have sex with my maid....literally no sign of deceit on his face.

Is this going to be my life? Devoted to an unfaithful man?

I said no words as I walked away disgusted.

***

That night my body tossed and turned...I was unable to fall asleep. The image of Ericson and the maid, the smug look on his face and his words replaying over and over in my mind, was driving me crazy.

Gela, I can't sleep...are you there?

There was no answer so I began walking the halls. My bare feet step in front of the doors of the great room...My parents were talking.

"Do you think Mina is happy about the wedding?" My father asked.

"She hasn't told me anything otherwise...are you worried?"

He sipped his drink. "I know this is for the greater good of the realms but I wonder if we are diminishing Mina's happiness."

"You're scared to lose your little girl....I understand. But as future Queen she has to be on her own and make decision....a husband could help her with that. Mina will be just fine."

I was thankful for my father's concern and continued to walk away down the hall. With constant scenarios filling my thoughts I was now standing in Devin's castle. My sheer nightgown flowed as my steps trailed his hall. He could be making love to some woman right now but I didn't care.

Being in his environment gave me peace....So I decided not to disturb him and went into one of his many rooms not occupied. I made myself comfortable and quickly began to fall into slumber.

"Mina, what are you doing here?"

A deep soothing voice whispered in my ear. Feeling like I was dreaming, my eyes remained closed.

"I need Devin...I want Devin.."

In my mind I felt like this person could give me what I asked...so I kept softly repeating it.

"I'm in love with Devin....I need Devin."

Soon lips touched mine then pulled away. My eyes opened slowly and my dream was no longer a dream.

"You came back.." Devin's hazel eyes stared into mine.

"Yes...I need you, Devin. Please make love to me."

He touched my cheek then placed his hand on my heart. The warmth from his hand was so soothing. And with one word, I knew he was about to change my life.

"Okay."