permanent price ✷ alex karev

007. do i wanna know?

"do i wanna know?"
by arctic monkeys

" have you no idea that you're in deep?
i've dreamt about you nearly every night this week
how many secrets can you keep?
'cause there's this tune i found
that makes me think of you somehow an' i play it on repeat
until i fall asleep
...
(do i wanna know?) if this feelin' flows both ways?
(sad to see you go) was sorta hopin' that you'd stay
(baby, we both know) that the nights were mainly made
for sayin' things that you can't say tomorrow day
crawlin' back to you
ever thought of callin' when
you've had a few?
'cause i always do
...
so have you got the guts?
been wonderin' if your heart's still open
and if so, i wanna know what time it shuts
...
i don't know if you feel the same as i do
but we could be together if you wanted to "

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

"save me"
season 1, episode 8

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

"izzie. please, i'm begging. you gotta stop baking. the whole kitchen is covered in flour and chocolate and cupcakes! they taste fine, seriously." eleanor sighed.

"no, el. there's something missing -- some specific ingredient. why can't i remember?" izzie pondered.

"just call her, iz. i get not wanting to call, but if it's really that important -- just call." eleanor told her. izzie just glared.

"good morning." derek said chirpily as he walked into the kitchen.

"hey. you guys want a cupcake?" george offered, derek scowled in the way that derek did. "izzie made em'."

"i'm still not used to having you here derek. it's weird. i haven't lived with you since... well, it's been a while, and it's weird." eleanor said, cringing slightly at the thought of the last time she had lived with her brother, a time in her life she tried not to think about if she could help it.

"you know, i like it here. hey, you said so yourself--" he said pointing to meredith, "-- you liked having your things around, sleeping in your own bed."

"you're like a health nut, aren't you?" george asked.

"yes. yes he is." eleanor sighed.

"you eat muesli every morning." george pointed out.

"no, i don't." derek defended.

"you have for the past week, der." eleanor told him.

"oh come on, i haven't been here for a whole week... have i?"

"yeah you have, and like i said, it's weird." eleanor said.

"see? even your sister thinks it's weird." meredith said to him.

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eleanor had spent all day assisting her brother on mr. walker's case and surgery, it was nice to spend the day with derek. they hadn't talked as much lately despite being around each other more often. she was pretty sure it was because of the elephant in the room. addison and meredith. meredith was pretty much always around and eleanor was always afraid of saying something she shouldn't. she hated lying to her friend, and she knew one day, one day soon meredith was going to find out that he was married, and in turn, find out that eleanor had known the whole time. but what was she supposed to do? betray her brother, the man who had basically raised her, for a girl she'd known for a few months? she didn't have much of a choice in the whole thing, but to say it brought her anxiety would be quite the understatement. she wasn't addison's biggest fan, but she was someone who had been in eleanor's life for a long time. she couldn't just erase the memories, but she certainly couldn't bring her up. there were a lot of things eleanor couldn't bring up, which was probably why she and derek didn't talk as much anymore. they were scrubbing out when she said it,