𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑭𝒐𝒓𝒈𝒐𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒏 𝑬𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒍𝒌𝒊 // 𝑺𝒉𝒂𝒅𝒐𝒘 & 𝑩𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝑭𝑭

𝟐𝟏. 𝑻𝒓𝒖𝒕𝒉 𝑩𝒆 𝑻𝒐𝒍𝒅..

Don't think I can take it
With every drama a piece of me dies
Like some kind of sadist
I think that he likes to see the pain in my eyes
He knows that I'm lovesick
He kissed me and promised I will be alright
We both know it's bullshit
The longer I'm with him the less I'm alive

A delightful smell tickles my nose as I scrunch it, still with my eyes closed. The bed was warm and heavy sheets pulled on top of me that I could feel their silk fabric. It is strange. I could see some light through my heavy eyelids. I exhale and stretch my body, letting out a small grunt as I awaken from my slumber. I stretched my arm to the other side of the bed as I roll my head to it. But felt it was empty. He was not laying beside me. Slowly opening my still sleepy eyes it was empty indeed. I narrowed my eyebrows and stretch once again before I pushed myself up, pulling the sheet with me as I covered my naked chest and leaned against the bed. Where is he? I wondered. I looked over to the window, finding it open. He usually keeps his room darkened so I wondered whether someone else was in here that let the sunlight come in. I looked to the ground and found my robes lying there, I felt my cheeks turning red as I recalled the night. He was mine and I was his. My lips formed a gentle smile as I stared blankly at the sheets, remembering it.

"You're finally awake." a gentle voice spoke and I knew it must be him. My smile widened as I looked up and met his beautiful eyes but he was standing there, with a tablet, heat rising up from seemingly freshly baked goods, some grapes and a cup filled with a drink.

"I guess I was just exhausted." I smirked at him, watching him walk over to the other side of the bed as he pressed his lips together, hiding a smile.

He slowly placed the food on the empty side of the bed and sat down himself, opposite of me. He slowly raised his hand and placed gently a hair string of mine behind my ear as he then placed his warm hand on my cheek, caressing it gently with his thumb. I couldn't look away from him. Only then to realize my stomach twisted a bit and a thought wandered through my mind. I felt guilt. Guilt for giving in in the moment of pleasure. Guilt for giving in to him but I couldn't show it. I pushed that feeling aside, gently nudging my cheek against the palm of his hand.

"I got you breakfast." he said gently and I smiled looking at the baked goods as I took a grape to eat.

"How very thoughtful of you." I joked and there it was. His little laugh I adored.

"Are you always this sarcastic?" he asked in a playful demeanor.

I shrugged. "Part of my charm!" I retorted, placing a grape in my mouth. Holding the sheet over my chest with one hand. His eyes mustered me up and down as he suddenly laughed and shook his head. "What?" I asked confused.

"You're covering yourself when I've clearly seen you naked." he answered calmly.

I stopped awkwardly chewing on my grape and felt my cheeks heating up. "Well you didn't have to be this straightforward about it!" I threw playfully a grape in my hand at him as he ducked, gently laughing.

I only saw him in this moment. This little moment of peace, warmth, comfort. Just him and I. No one and nothing else. My mind was blank. A void as I enjoyed this moment of laughter and giggles, joking around and him seeming to be at peace. He smiled more, he joked around more, as if his mask fell off and he is fully exposed to me. At least I thought that is the real him. Believed he still carried a good heart. Lost in my thoughts I hadn't realized I was just staring at him.

"What?" he asked, going with his hand over his beard. "Do I have something on my face?"

I felt my heart clench for a moment. "What happened to you..?" I caught myself whispering worryingly. His smile faded away as he looked away from me lowering his head.