Mosaic Broken Hearts

Cut To The Chase

"I'm so sorry, I should've been with you," Cheryl apologizes for the fifth time. We've just made it into mine and Kim's room and the girls have not left my sight. They genuinely feel sorry.

"Lizzie is really nice, I don't know why she has to hang out with those girls." The disappointment in Kim's voice is unmistakable. It is clear to see that she is deeply upset by this situation.

"I don't know why you're always defending her Kimba," Cheryl emphasize her dislike or her roommate once more.

"Because Chez, she's my friend," is all Kim could offer.

"She hates me guts," Cheryl passes me a water bottle looking rather annoyed at her girlfriend.

"And mine," I said with a giggle.

"Aye, but we like you!" She chirped poking my sides making me laugh.

"Yup! we like you," Nicola joins Cheryl and soon enough I'm crying laughing from being tickled.

"Kids, kids!" Kim said getting up pushing Cheryl and Nicola off of me. "Thanks Kiimm," I smile feeling a lot better.

We are all silent. Lost in our phones but it's not awkward at all, its actually pretty enjoyable.

"Vickky baby, come oonnnn!" I whine as my silly girlfriend is just laying on top of me with her complete dead weight on me, just playing on her phone.

"What? I'm super comfy," she says like it was nothing.

I just smile and wrap my arms around her while bringing her even closer to me. I never thought I would feel this happy. She's the first thing on my mind in the morning and my last thought before bed. I just wish I could hold her hand in public, wish I could kiss her in front of everyone letting them know she's taken. But I know neither of us is ready for that step. We like our little bubble; nobody can burst it if they don't know about it. Nobody can judge our love if we don't talk about it. Everyone thinks we're just best friends and as much as it hurts when other people think they can flirt with her, knowing that behind these doors I make her mine is a different type of excitement.

I think my mom knew about us before I even told her, but she acted like she didn't. Maybe she didn't care and maybe I was just too scared to confide in my own mother.

She can't expect me to just flat out tell her I am gay and that I'm in a relationship with a girl 3 years older than me. She was barely home and when she was home, she is drunk taking everything out of me or she had different men in every day. I hated that she let my stepdad take my little brother with him, leaving me all by myself. Yes, we get to see him but it's not the same thing. I guess I should be grateful my little brother doesn't have to grow up in this unstable environment. I just want the best for him and living with his dad and new wife was in his best interest.

Maybe I'm not mad that he left, maybe I'm mad that they didn't take me with them? Maybe I also wanted out from this so-called home. My mom can't seem to grasp the idea of being a single mother, so she has a new man every month not caring about the damage she was doing to me.

I was grateful for always having food to eat but that was it. Everything else was a struggle. Most of my clothes are hand me downs and even though I don't mind, I do wish my mother had cared for me more.

I barely brought my girlfriend to my own house. I was way too embarrassed to bring her to that dumpster. Nobody deserves to live in those conditions. My room was small, but it was my sacred space. My happy place alongside dancing and music.

"Aww! Baby, its cute!" Standing in the middle of my room, my girlfriend plants a gentle kiss on my cheek while scanning her surroundings.

"There's not much to see," With a hint of embarrassment, I admit while my cheeks redden, the color deepening with each passing moment.