Mosaic Broken Hearts

Butterfly's wings

Kimberley gives me a quick glance asking if I'm ready, I'm not but I can't back out now. So, I nod, taking a deep breath.

*Knock kno-*

"Why are we knocking? It's me fookn' room," Cheryl opens the door not giving us an option to back out.

"CHERYL!" Elizabeth shouts bringing her hands up to cover her chest. "I'm changing!" She continues as if it wasn't obvious by her naked upper half.

"And? We're here for an apology." Cheryl started but Kimberley cut her off, "Chez!" making Cheryl instantly drop her shoulders.

I don't know what to do or say. Elizabeth is still half naked, and it's very hard to look anywhere else but her chest. I take ahold of Nicola's hand, I can feel my anxiety intensifying and I'm desperately longing to undo my decision to come to this place.

I don't need an apology; I don't need empty words. I've had enough of those to last me a lifetime. I hate myself for getting in my own head. This shouldn't be a big deal. We're not even friends so I shouldn't expect anything from her. I am doing this only to keep Kimberley happy, she's been nothing but amazing to me and I don't want to upset her.

"You look cold, you want your jumper back?" Nicola asks. She must have noticed my body shaking. "I'll just get a jumper from here," she points to Cheryl's dresser.

I shake my head bringing my eyes back up, looking around the room. Cheryl is being yelled at by Kimberley which seems like it happens too often. Elizabeth is staring at me and Nicola, too intensely for my liking. A strange expression playing on her face. 'Calm down just calm down,' I tell myself, but I can't.

"We'll wait for you." Nicola whispers in my ear and she embraces me in a tight hug.

"Let us stay with you, pet!" Cheryl said but Kimberley just grabbed her hand dragging her out. "Just shout for us and I'll show her a propa' ass kickin'." I hear Cheryl's voice but before I can answer Nicola is closing the door.

I was so in my head trying to calm myself down that I had not paid attention to what any of the girls had said before they told me they'd wait for me. So now I'm awkwardly standing by the door. Elizabeth has now changed and is wearing a white shirt with the Gucci logo across the front.

"You can sit, ya know." I look up at her sitting on her bed.

"Thanks." I mumble, cursing myself for sounding so weak. I see her scoot over on her bed and I hope to God she doesn't think I'm about to sit there. I don't dare to.

I shyly walk to Cheryl's bed, feeling a bit better knowing she won't care that I'm sitting on her bed.

"Sorry." She bluntly says.

I can't help but chuckle at her poor excuse of an apology.

"What?!" I can hear she's annoyed, but I don't respond, like Cheryl told me I did nothing wrong. "You can't just sit there and laugh at my apology!" She throws her hands in the air.

"Is that what that was?" I question, as the words escape my lips, I am struck by the sheer certainty that lingers in my tone.

"Yea, I said sorry, didn't I?" She shoots back.

"At least try and pretend you actually mean it" I decided to reciprocate her attitude. I don't know where this is coming from, but I'm bothered by her lack of sensitivity.

"I'm only doing this because Kimber asked, and I value her friendship." She said, sounding sincere. Making my heart drop, why? I don't know.

"Then apologize to HER!" I half shout, my voice filled with frustration. "I don't need to put up with your bitchiness." I say getting up ready to leave.