Mosaic Broken Hearts

Lacking Zeal

After that night Lizzie never mentioned a word about it. The minute her lips touched mine, I reciprocated the kiss until it naturally came to an end. I fell asleep in her arms but woke up alone to a cold breakfast in the kitchen, my phone plugged in, and I had clean clothes laying on the bed. 

Ollie picked me up the minute I called her. She said Lizzie texted her letting her know she was being picked up by a friend but that was it. I often go back to that night.

I can't get it out of my head. The way all the walls and defenses I had been creating for years just fell in front of Lizzie in a matter of seconds. It has me confused to say the least. Even with Vickky it took everything in me to talk about my mother and my missing my brother. Even when I could call her to pick me up and she saw the state my mother was in, I'd still have a difficult time explaining my feelings to her. But with Lizzie I just couldn't stop talking. I cursed myself for letting that happen but then again, I had zero control over my own body.

I was scared she would run back to her friends telling them my darkest secret but to my surprise she hadn't said a word to anyone. I mean if she did, I know I would hear about it. Her friends are not the type to leave something like that alone. They would announce it to the whole fucking school and make my life an absolute fucking nightmare. They already do, so that would have just added more fuel to their hatred towards me.

I'm almost one hundred percent certain she didn't mention it to anyone, not Ollie and definitely not Kimberley. I don't think Kim even knows what happened that night. Ollie must've kept it to herself, and I'm glad. I don't think I could explain what happened that night either.

I do find it super strange that Ollie never really asked for details either, it's like she didn't care what really happened at the cabin once she left us there.

Maybe Ollie and Lizzie aren't as close as I thought they were. I was at least expecting a 'how was she' but nope, nothing. And if she doesn't want to know, I won't bring it up.

These two weeks have been weird, my brain keeps trying to decipher that night, but I can't. Everything else just doesn't seem to matter. I wanna know when Lizzie got up and if she made the breakfast.

Why didn't she wake me up? Whose clothes were on the bed? She even plugged in my phone to charge, did she see my texts? Vickky's or my mom's? Who even picked her up?

I wanna ask her all these questions but part of me is scared of the answers, part of me wishes she forgot my little trauma dump, but I know she hasn't.

Not much has changed between us when we're around our friends. She doesn't dare to speak to me when her little witch friends are near or even when Cheryl is around because she knows Cheryl will jump the gun and start shit for no reason.

Everything is different during World History though and when she comes around to my dorm to practice her script with Kimberley. Most of the time I leave them alone and go to Ollie's but there are times that I do stay and do my homework with them. Other times Cheryl doesn't give me a choice and drags me to our dance studio to practice our routine a million times.

I don't mind because I know it will help me tremendously in a couple of months as we have a big dance recital around the same time Kim and Lizzie have the play of the year.

People from all over will come and watch us and that is where I will get my big shot. Those are the people I need to impress to be able to score a spot within the best dancing academies in the country. Cheryl had given me all the information she collected from spying on the conversation Mrs. Faye had with Kimberley's theater teacher, Mrs. Massell. It makes me feel good knowing Cheryl is really looking out for me, she could have easily kept all the conversation she's heard to herself but no, she shared it with me.