Sea Glass: Marie and Lauryn

Chapter 17

Rain pelted the windows, the sky dark, matching Marie's mood perfectly. Today was the first day of the trial against Hammersley and his son, Evan for what they had done to Lauryn. And they both were due in court to testify. At least they were being tried together so she and Lauryn wouldn't have to attend multiple court hearings. 

Even though Marie knew it would throw her off, she had skipped her morning run, having not slept well. At least Lauryn had. She had made sure Lauryn had taken her evening medication, that usually made her sleepy anyway. She was loathe to wake her as she knew this would be a very difficult day for her. 

During the past few weeks they had several meetings with the Crown Prosecution Service -- CPS. While Marie would have hoped Lauryn would have retreated to her little headspace to release her anxiety, she hadn't been little since her birthday week spent in the Cotswolds. She had grown more and more withdrawn as the trial date loomed. It worried Marie quite a lot. 

With Mac having gone home to have a few weeks with his grandparents before start of term, they had more privacy and she would have thought that Lauryn felt more at ease regressing. Marie missed him of course, but she was looking forward to getting into some sort of a routine after the whirlwind of the last months.

Despite that, Lauryn had remained "big." Startlingly so. 

Marie would have thought the minute they were home, Lauryn would have wanted her mama, bath time, a story, a cuddle even. 

Instead, Lauryn had pushed her away. Lauryn showered alone before sitting quietly and trying to read a book, her hands shaking. She put Felix and all her stuffed animals and toys in their closet, making Marie's chest tight and her eyes well with tears. Marie had scheduled more sessions with Lauryn's psychologist as a result. And while she knew she liked Dr. Atkinson, Lauryn had been very withdrawn, barely answering when the therapist asked her a question. 

Marie knew it was related to the stress and fear caused by the trial, but usually when Lauryn felt these emotions, her brain sent her deep into her little headspace to be safe. She was well aware that being little was her trauma response from years of this psychological and physical pain. So, she was concerned when it wasn't her response to this new fear. This fear that she was not coping with well without her little headspace to retreat to.

Walking into their bedroom, she sat on their bed, nursing a hot cup of mint tea in her hands. Lauryn was asleep on her back, one hand resting on her sternum. It was strange to sit on their bed and watch Lauryn sleep without even one stuffed animal tucked under her chin. Even when she was feeling completely adult she usually would want one out of habit.

Gently, Marie brushed Lauryn's hair from her face before kissing her forehead. 

"Time to get up, darling," she said softly. 

Lauryn opened her eyes slowly. It made Marie so sad, to see the sparkle still gone from her blue and hazel-stained eyes. 

"Good morning, sweetheart," Marie whispered, smoothing the hair back from her forehead.

"M-m-morning," Lauryn said softly, looking away. 

"Do you need help getting ready?" 

She shook her head before sitting up slowly. 

"I set out some clothes for you," Marie said, pointing to the chair in the corner where a conservative navy blue dress and a grey cardigan sat, "but you don't have to wear them if that's not what you want. I just picked out things that were comfortable but still appropriate for court."

Lauryn nodded. 

"I'll go make some breakfast then."

"N-n-n-not h-h-hungry," Lauryn mumbled.