Sea Glass: Marie and Lauryn

Chapter 20

Belfast, Northern Ireland

January 3, 2000

"Granda?" 

"Aye, Patty?" 

Lauryn watched as who she understood to be her older brother came around the corner. Even though he was so nice, she still was nervous around him. He was huge, and that reminded her of those boys at the orphanage. Kneeling in the bathtub, she turned her body into the blue tile wall, hiding her face.

"Oh, sorry, I uh..." his voice trailed off and she felt shame fill her.

She knew that he was looking at her. The same way Granda had first looked at her when he put her in the bathtub the first time a few weeks.

"Granda," he whispered, "'Er bum...it's black and blue...and she's skin and bones...what did they do to 'er there?"

Lauryn knew that her back, bottom and thighs were still slightly bruised, still healing from the last few beatings she had been subjected to before Granda had taken her away from the orphanage and it made her so embarrassed. 

"Ssh, Patty. Nary a need to talk about that in front of 'er. What did ye need?"

"Just was wonderin' if I could go out with the lads later today."

"Sure, just be 'ome by 11."

"Thanks, Granda."

A few moments later, she felt Granda's gentle hand on her shoulder. 

"'E's gone, me birdy. Nothin' to be scared of. Not that Patty is scary at all." 

Slowly, she turned and sat back down, looking at her grandfather's kind face. 

"And once we're done in the tub, we can 'ave some supper and watch a movie. 'Ow about that Princess Pocahontas one ye like so much?" 

Lauryn smiled shyly up at him and nodded. Granda had put Pocahontas on the first day she arrived at his house and had let her watch it every day, sometimes twice. She would sit close in front of the little television in the living room, Felix in her lap, mesmerized. She just loved it. Pocahontas was so pretty. And, Granda told her the rules were that nobody was supposed to talk during a film, which she liked a lot because it meant she didn't feel out of place in her silent world. For once. She had never seen a film before coming to Granda's, actually. A little television here and there on Christmases, but no more than a half hour or so. 

"That's me good girl." 

Good girl.

Lauryn looked down, small shoulders sinking. 

But, I'm not a good girl. Jesus even knows that, so how does Granda not?

"Lauryn?" he asked. 

She looked away. 

Why is Granda so nice to me?

"What's wrong, lass?"

Lauryn looked up at him, his kind blue eyes twinkling at her. 

Soaking wet, she knelt and hugged him. She started to sob as his arms went around her and held her tightly, despite being wet. She buried her face in his sweater, smelling his scent she had come to love. 

"Oh, lass. You're 'ere with Granda now. You're me sweet wee birdy." 

Lauryn eventually calmed with Granda's gentle rocking. She still felt like a bad girl...and like she couldn't ever get clean enough. Even with the wonderfully warm baths Granda or Bridget gave her every day. It just didn't ever feel like Father Muldoon's heavy body had left her skin.