Sea Glass: Marie and Lauryn

Chapter 28

Marie came to kneel beside Lauryn, lightly resting her hand on her back before clipping the pink bow more securely in her hair. 

"How are we getting along, girls?"

"Good!" Izzy said, "We're having a tea party!"

"Well, I didn't receive an official invitation, so I'll leave these two sippy cups of juice here in the case you get thirsty."

"Th-thanks, m-mama."

"You're welcome, sweetheart," Marie said, kissing her temple.

"What do you say, Iz?" Nat said.

"Thanks, Lauryn's mama."

"Good girl."

Izzy smiled at Nat as Marie went back to sit with her a few feet away.

For the first time since Marie had become her caregiver, Lauryn didn't feel an overwhelming need to be close to her. Instead, sitting here playing in the small, secluded park, she felt confident that she was there a few feet away and she was safe with Izzy. It felt so nice to regress alongside someone who also was regressed. Sure, it was wonderful to be little with Marie, and she of course didn't want her that far out of her sight, but this was just different. 

"Does Orla need a bottle?" Izzy asked, holding her doll in one hand. 

Lauryn nodded, looking down at the baby doll in her arms. 

"Matilda didn't want hers, so Orla can have it," she said, handing Lauryn the little doll bottle.

"Th-thanks," she said, pressing the bottle to her doll's lips.

"Do you like having milk from your mama?" Izzy asked, putting her doll down in her lap.

Lauryn blushed even though Izzy clearly meant it as a casual question. Even though Marie was also obviously not shy about nursing her, Lauryn still felt that way at times even in front of another caregiver-little couple. Even when nobody was around. But, she loved nursing from mama and it seemed like she did too so she worked through her shyness about it. Plus, she had been feeling very little the entire trip, probably because she felt entirely able to completely regress in front of other people with Izzy and Nat around. All she wanted was to play with Izzy, cuddle with mama, and nurse.  It was an utter relief to be able to regress completely in the wake of so much pain. And, it was a relief to be with mama and be nothing but her little girl. All the other things that were difficult or painful could wait. 

I'm just mama's girl. 

"Um...y-yeah," she mumbled, "I d-do." 

"That's cool. I don't like milk so much so mumma gives me juice. But I give Matilda milk sometimes!" 

"I g-g-give Orla j-juice s-sometimes," Lauryn said, looking down at the doll in her arms, the bottle still pressed to her lips.

"Orla seems really hungry," Izzy said, "Just like me every morning when mumma wakes me up!" 

Lauryn giggled, feeling her shyness fade away. Izzy was so good at changing her mood. 

Izzy went about brushing her doll's brown hair with her fingers. She clearly loved her doll, Lauryn could see that. But she wasn't particularly gentle with her like Lauryn was with her dolls. She liked Molly's hair neatly brushed, her dress pressed, and Orla's clothes clean. Her toys and other possessions needed to be neatly put away, otherwise she felt unsettled. It was the same with her own clothes, hair, and skin. She needed ironed dresses and her hair done just so. 

She assumed it was her young life that made her so particular. In the orphanage, she had no control over the state of her clothes or body. Then when she was finally removed and safe, she found herself being very obsessive over the state of her clothes, hair, and skin. Even when she grew up in grinding poverty, she made sure that her threadbare clothes and school uniform -- far too large hand-me-downs from Bridget -- were always clean, ironed, and mended when an all-too-common hole wore through them.