Sea Glass: Marie and Lauryn

Chapter 23

"We've figured out how to administer your final examination in a way that is fair and also provides for your accommodations," Martin Shearf, the dean of the Bartlett School of Architecture at UCL, said. 

"Th-thank y-y-you, s-sir," Lauryn said softly. 

"Honestly, Ms. O'Hara, the delay of your examination should have been confirmed immediately upon the report of your stay in hospital. And for that, I extend a wholehearted apology for the faculty here at the School Architecture."

"Th-thank y-you," Lauryn said again. 

Please let's just begin already.

She just wanted to start her examination. After not sleeping well the past four nights nor eating well due to a combination of stress about studying and passing and exceptional grief over Marie leaving, she was exhausted. 

And, she knew her appearance did little to hide it. She hadn't showered in days and wore only a loose t-shirt and baggy denim shorts with a belt notched to the last hole that belonged to Luke and were way too big on her. Luke was still staying over, and had left them discarded in the guest room when he went to work. She used to wear Luke's big t-shirts to bed when she slept over at his place and knew he wouldn't mind. They were far more comfortable than her own clothes. Plus, the closet smelled like Marie and all her clothes were in there, making her even sadder. 

She hadn't even been able to sleep in their bed. Instead, Luke had held her as she fell asleep crying each night next to him in the guest room bed.

Worse still, Lauryn had felt herself wanting so badly to slip into little space.

Damn it, Lauryn. You don't need to be little. It's not good for you.

She had decided to treat being little like an alcoholic must treat alcohol. She had to cut it from her life entirely. And it was working so far during the day.

But, at night, she found herself wanting Marie. Not even as her girlfriend. As her mama.

In those quiet moments late at night, she longed to turn over and snuggle into Marie, suckling her pacifier. She longed to have Marie wake up slightly and sleepily start patting her diapered bottom, whispering soothing words to make her fall asleep again as she used to do.

And she hated herself for it. 

"We've developed some accommodations for your examination. First, the examination is regularly three hours, but you will have six. Second, you have one ten-minute break at the end of each hour on top of this to use the restroom, eat something, and rest. Third, I understand you have some weakness and lack of control in your hands, so there will be a professor from an unrelated department who will draw whatever you tell or show them to."

Marie used to be my hands even before I needed her to be.

She remembered when Marie helped her sketch and measure pages and pages of architecture drafts.  The way she would hold Lauryn's hand as they sketched or leaned over the paper to show her something. The way her perfume wafted into her nose, the comfort of her so close. Even before they were together. 

"We have assigned Professor Agnes Laughton from the Medieval History department to assist you," he said, gesturing to the tall, thin blond woman beside him, "She has no experience in architecture, and truly will act as your assistant only."

I guess this is better than me trying to keep my damned hands still while drafting. 

"Th-thank y-y-you, P-professor, f-for h-h-helping."

"It's my pleasure, Ms. O'Hara," the woman said, her face emotionless. 

Her accent was very posh, much like Marie's was. Her attitude reminded of Marie when she was cold Georgina. Laughton had grown up around aristocracy.