9/9/22
You say I do nothing
You say I'm lazy and I sit around all day
You say all I do is boss you around
You say I make you do all the work I'm supposed to do
What about the hours I put in working outside while everyone else in the house was sick?
Those hours I spent growing the food we eat and tending to the animals that we rely on
While also tending to all the house work everyone else usually did
Eventually I got sick but I put my head down and worked
I spent hours in the hot sun preparing the garden for our fall harvest
Shoveling compost and planting fresh seedlings
All while I had a fever
All while my whole body ached so bad I felt nauseous every time I moved
But I kept going
I did what I was supposed to do
Because all I know how to do is put my head down and work
No complaints, nothing, just work
Because that work brings me a happiness you will never understand
By the end of that day I was unable to move
You had to lock up the chickens for me that night
You complained the whole time, said it wasn't fare
The next day I let myself rest
I needed it but every moment of stillness was painful
My mind screaming at me to get to work, to be productive
I fought that part of me and let myself heal
Eventually you made me cry
Three older siblings and being bullied growing up gave me thick skin
But here I was, breaking down because of you
I can't remember the last nice word you said to me
I can only remember all the times you put me down
All the times you made me feel like nothing
Because all you see when you look at me is nothing
And knowing that is more painful than any words you could say
YOU ARE READING
Thoughts Collected
PuisiA collection of poems written in my journal, and selected to be put here. The musings of a farmer and his life.
