Jamie's Survival

Nineteen

"Jamie,Eat" Lily dropped the vegetables and fruit before me.

"I think you need to tell the doctors to change my drugs" I said.
"You can talk to doctor Philips about that"She smiled pushing the apple inside my palm.

" I don't feel horny anymore.. I read this erotic book last night and I couldn't get it up"I said.

" Jamie..your systems are getting a reboot,you were used to feelings you got after using..we are trying to get you to start feeling food without them"She smiled.

" What if I never feel horny anymore..I'm just 23,I want to get married and have children..I can't starve my husband of sex"I said.

" You will..when you meet the right man..the sexual tensions would want you to jump him"She smiled.
" Do you have a boyfriend?it'd be a surprise if you can keep a mouth with how vulgar and rude you are" I turned around in my seat.

" I have a husband and two sons.. they're seniors in high school,I've been married for Seventeen years so duh"She rolled her eyes.

" What's wrong with doctors here?I'm gonna sue all of you"I stood up.

" eat more vegetables Jamie,you did something last week so you're not allowed near the dining room or sharp objects"She said.

" I was an idiot last week,it was a moment of weakness.im leaving"I picked another apple and walked out.

I watched people talking in the waiting area.some were alone while some were talking to either doctors or patients.

"Are you trying to run away from your session or you need a friend" Doctor Philip asked.

"I'm not running away" I rolled my eyes.
"We have  group therapy today..follow me" he smiled and led me into a small sitting room.i took the love couch folding my legs and ignoring the three others there already.

"Hi..I'm Doctor Philip,can you introduce yourselves too?" He smiled.
"I'm Charley" A tall boy said quietly.

"I'm Sarah" A bubbly girl smiled.

"I'm Bernie" miss busybody from yoga said.

"I thought you were leaving?" I asked.

"It's extended by a month. Sadly" she replied.

"What's your name?" Philip asked.

"I'm.. James" I answered.
"You look familiar" Sarah said.

"Sarah... How do you feel today?" Doctor asked.

"I'm fine.. I'm pushing through, I never believed I can live a month without ..." She looked at us.

"It's okay, we are not perfect or judgy.. we were all hooked on something"I smiled.

" Jamie.. you wanna talk? "Doctor said.

"sometimes I get the craving but I'll live.. I just wanna go home"I smiled.

" You're smiling alot nowadays and more chatty... Bernie? "doctor philip said.
" I thought I would be home by now but I still feel guilty.. my girlfriend died while I lived... I didn't even know we've taken too much, I'm positive, I'm fine.. I can make it.. i rather sacrifice thirty more days to be better than living forever a slave to heroine"She smiled.

" That's the spirit Bernie... Charley"Doctor Philip replied.

" I feel empty, I don't know how I feel but I'm so worried about my mother, she raised me and my sister alone.. I'm a disappoinment.. I wish I never started ... How am I gonna face them after all this? I wish I never started at the first place.. all I think about is how bad my mom would be feeling"Charley started crying.

I haven't thought about my mom. How would she be dealing with all of this? She always made jokes about how she almost died while giving birth to me.

I've only thought about myself.
What about my mom? My sisters