Jamie's Survival

Twenty-six

Jamie's Pov

I have ten days to leave. I was going home. It was what I always wanted since I came in and I can't believe I didn't want to leave. I didn't want to leave my friends. I didn't want to leave Lily, Charley or Rose. Bernie left two weeks ago but she kept paying us a visit even when the doctors tried to stop her .it was like she never left.
I didn't want to stop seeing Nelson.

After what happened between us last week. He started avoiding me. He missed all of our session and I had to do it with another person.

Maybe today Doctor Giles will take his place.
I didn't like that Doctor. He was rude, too tall, always smiling and he wasn't Nelson.
I lay on my bed under my blankets.
The door opened and I covered my face.

"Stand up Jamie.. you're supposed to go to your session.. remember.. no more special treatments" Doctor Andrew said.

"I'm sick" I replied.
He came close to me feeling my skin, he laughed.

"Stand up Jamie" He said.

I stood up slowly only in my underwear.

"Can I go like this? I'm tired" I said.
"You're not tired, you're pretending.. wear your clothes and go to Doctor Nelson's office" He said.

"What?" I looked at him.
"Let's say Doctor Giles have transferred you back to your own doctor" He smiled and left.
I pulled my short immediately and put on a pullover and hair warmer.

I ignore Lily and hurried to Nelson's office.

"Goodafternoon Jamie" He said sitting down.

"I think I like you.. I more than like you" I said as soon as I sat down.

"I think what you feel is transference"he said.

" What's that? "I eyed him.
" You have someone who listens and care about you and since you've not had a positive attention for a long time.. you're c... "He was saying.

" Stop.. I'd rather you reject me kindly than breaking my heart that way.. you're saying I don't know what I feel.. "I looked at my hands.

" I'm sorry Jamie"Nelson said.

" It's okay.. I understand.. I'm not worth it . A drug addict like me.. I don't know what I want right but it's okay"I smiled at him ignoring the stinging pain behind my eyes since I was trying hard to stop the tears.

I wasn't going to cry in front of him. I didn't want pity feeling from him.

" You're leaving soon, how do you feel? "He asked.

" I feel fine, I'm scared of the looks and attention but I'm a survivor.. I'm alive and I'm not going back to drugs... Ever"I said.

" You've come a long way Jamie.. I'm proud of you.. you overcame the hunger and pain... You did well"He smiled.

" I thought I'd find you here.. hi Doctor Nelson"Charley opened the door.

" What are you doing? We are in session"Nelson glared at him.

" I'm sorry Doctor Nelson... Jamie, can you come see me later? "Charley looked at me.

" Of course"I smiled at him.

" Thanks.. sorry .Doc"Charley smiled and left.
"Let's continue" I looked at him.