Tyrant

29

Billie's POV

The pads of me feet lighting tap against the floor as I pace back and forth in front of my bed. I can't believe I actually agreed to talk to Sev, I mean I want to. I miss her even though it hasn't been that long, I don't wanna forgive her. She cheated. But I feel like I owe it to myself to at least get an explanation from her, I just hope it's the whole truth this time. I also hope I can handle the truth.

My phone vibrates on the bed, Sev messages me telling me she's outside.

"Shit" I mutter to myself as I slip on some sweats and my sneakers. I grab a matching sweater, my phone and keys before rushing out the door.

My dad says something but I ignore him walking out of the front door. Hesitantly I make my way to her car, I see her reach over the console to push the door open for me. I get in and shut the door, letting out a breath I didn't know I was holding in.

"Hey" she mumbles breaking the awkward silence.

"Hi" I give her a small smile.

The tension in this car is making me feel sick, the air feels thick. I feel like I'm trapped in a box. The palms of my hands are moist and drained of color.

"Before we go to my house, do you want anything to eat?" She asks, her eyes remaining on the road as she drives down my block.

"No that's okay. Thanks" I mutter, my eyes not leaving my lap.

The whole car ride is quiet, and we stay quiet until we get out of the car and into her room. She sits down on her bed and I'm standing a few feet away messing with the skin peeling from my fingers.

"You can it if you want" Sev says making me look up at her.

I just nod, sitting on her bed making sure to keep a good amount of space between us. "You can start talking whenever you're ready" I say.

She takes a deep breath, exhaling lightly. "Okay well first off, I am so sorry for not telling you the whole truth and making this all so much worse.."

I just nod silently letting her know I'm listening and that she can continue, so she does. "You heard what Bria said that day of that big fight. About how I was abused by my ex but I didn't want you to know that I was- well am still terrified of her" she sighs.

I tilt my head a little, "what do y-"

"When you got up to leave for the bathroom that day, Jasmine showed up asking to speak to me. I told her no and the way she basically ordered me to go out in the hall brought me back to how I was when I was with her.

I felt helpless and weak. I remembered the consequences whenever I didn't do what she asked and I couldn't speak up for myself. Then when I went out to the hallway to talk she backed me into a corner, telling me that someone told her that I had been missing her. She said that I would always belong to her, Jasmine tried to make me say I missed her and when I didn't she kissed me."

I don't even know how to respond, I mean what do I say to this? How am I supposed to be mad at her when her ex abuser put her in such a weird situation?

"Wow" I say breathlessly.

"I-I know it was wrong to kiss her back but a part of me thought that if I kissed her she'd just leave me alone after. I found out that Bria was the one who told Jasmine that I missed her. But I promise that was a lie, I haven't talked about Jasmine in a really long time. Mostly because I'm afraid to address that situation. It was a really bad time for me" she looks down into her lap, sniffling a little.

I just sit quiet trying to process all of this.

"Please Billie, please say you believe. Please just say something, anything" she begs, her eyes glossy. Tears threatening to spill.

"I-I believe you, Sev."

"Do you really? I'm sorry I have to ask."

"Yeah, I believe you. And I'm really sorry that you had to go through that. I can't even imagine having to face someone who hurt you so bad" I move a little closer to her when I see her lip trembling.

"You believe me.. but w-will you ever be able to f-forgive me?" Tears rolls down her cheeks.

I'm not sure what I should do or say. Can I really blame her for this?

Instead of speaking I wrap my arms around her, she cries softly against me. "I'm so sorry Billie" she croaks. Her tears seeping into the shoulder of my sweater.

"It's okay" I whisper, "just breathe." Soothingly I rub circles on her back.