Bound To Falling In Love // Sadie Sink

5. You're Not Alone

~ Mentions of abuse ~

Caleb and Annabelle walked alone for what seemed like hours in complete silence. The blonde girl could faintly remember them going out almost every night after set, playing like children and laughing. But now, years after, it all felt so different and she wasn't sure if it was good or not.

Sometimes, she just wished she was still 15. Playing with her friends endlessly, laughing and having the best time of her life, without worry in her life. Well, her family wasn't particularly fond of her back then either, but it all got progressively worse over the years.

"I wanted to talk about us." Caleb's voice echoed around their surroundings. Annabelle couldn't quite pinpoint what emotions were hidden beneath this sentence, but it definitely wasn't the pleasant one he used before.

"What is there to talk about us?" she fidgeted with her fingers, cursing herself ten times over for the dress she agreed on wearing. Yes, she knew she looked good. More than good, judging by other people's reactions and how their eyes lingered longer on her body than it was appropriate. And although she definitely felt the confidence boost, right now when her body burned with nerves, she felt like she was suffocating in its tight restrictions.

"Nothing bad, don't worry," he cleared his throat. He was nervous as well, she knew it. But why? Did she do something wrong? Maybe she didn't talk enough to him and now he didn't want to be friends anymore. "It's just, you've grown distant. And I feel like you're pushing me away. What's wrong?"

Annabelle sighed. She wanted, oh she so desperately wanted to share with someone. Someone that wouldn't judge her, someone that wouldn't look at her differently after that. And she knew Caleb was her best friend. Maybe they weren't as close as she wishes they were, but she knew he wouldn't be the type to push her away. And yet, she couldn't stop thinking the opposite. How disgusted he would look at her, how he would say she is nothing more than garbage. Everyone would think that, even he.

"I-I..." the blonde tried, feeling way too late that tears were rolling down her face, creating wet trails and smudging the mascara she was mostly forced to wear for the photoshoot. With a deep, very shaky sigh, she tried collecting her thoughts. She couldn't. The voices in her head were too loud, repeating everything her family ever said to her.

Disappointment.
Freak.
Pathetic.
Weak.
Faggot.

Every little thing, every single hurtful sentence was flying around in her head, her family's voices attached to them, running blades through her heart as if it was the first time hearing them.

"D-During the pandemic," the girl began, feeling the need to share what happened. It was eating her from the inside, the guilt, the pressure, everything, she had to say it out loud. To be reassured it wasn't her fault. That she wasn't responsible for this.

"I-I had to go to E-England a-and my family they..," she began, her chest heaving with sobs and her voice cracking. Suddenly, it got increasingly harder to breathe and Caleb's eyes started getting watery just at the sight. He pulled her close to her, but still giving her enough room to continue. "T-They... T-They..," the blonde tried again, but her voice was not one to cooperate. She could no longer feel her body, her legs going limp and her hands desperately trying to find something to hold on to.

In the process, she attached herself to Caleb, like her life depended on it. In a way, she felt like it did. Her mind couldn't register her surroundings, and she didn't care if someone could see them. Her brain was fogged, fogged with the pain, their words, their actions.

"H-Hit me," She forced the words out of her mouth, her face buried in the crook of Caleb's neck. He tensed up at that, just imagining all the times she had insisted that she bruises easily. "T-They beat me up. Every day." She finished, her voice cracking and drowning in sobs.