Bound To Falling In Love // Sadie Sink

16. Plushie

The traditional game night went just like Elle thought it would. Everyone gathered around to play monopoly, drinking hot chocolate and watching 'Home Alone' for what seemed like a thousandth time. At this point, Annabelle knew the entire script to that movie, but how could she complain when the atmosphere was so comfortable, when she finally felt like she belonged somewhere?

That, however, didn't last long. The time hit 11 pm, and Lori, Sadie's mom, sent them all to their separate rooms. She reasoned that Jacey is far too young to stay after 10, much less 11, but since Annabelle was there she could stay for a bit longer.

The blonde girl could finally see why her girlfriend could in no universe stay after 10, not when her habits were so fixed from such an early age. And for a second, she felt regret that her family, her schedule wasn't the same.

There were times where Bella's mother would be affectionate, but those were so rare that they might as well not exist. Her dad was even worse. For as far as she has known him, he was always drinking and whenever the alcohol was too much, hit them as a 'punishment'.

Sometimes he even reasoned that it was for their best, that this is how they become strong people, but Annabelle knew it was all bullshit. So that's when she started not staying at home, going to parties whenever possible and trying her best to get as many jobs as possible, hopeful that this is how she could stay away from her family.

And for a while, it worked. The bruises from her father's belt started fading away while she was in the USA for filming, but her mother's scolding only increased throughout filming. While on the Stranger Things set, she was required to be there with an adult, and thus, her mother would always take advantage and make 'holidays' for herself.

So, the moment she hit 18 was the moment she felt any kind of freedom. She was finally allowed to fly alone, to go on set alone and to do things like an adult would. And she did - taking as long as possible on filming sets, buying herselt things she wanted when she was a child - everything to satisfy the inner need to feel like a kid.

And right now the child within her felt lost. Tossing and turning in her bed, the only thing she could think about is how painful all of this was - how painful it was to see a happy family she didn't belong to and how much she would give to have that, to be in Sadie's position. To play with her sister and brother, to drink hot chocolate and to have family traditions to live up to. But no, seeing this didn't make her feel more included - it only reminded her that she never had, and most likely never will have such a family.

A pained groan escaped her lips, her eyes watering and her barely being able to hide the sobs begging to escape. Why couldn't she have that? It looked so simple to be happy, and yet so hard to accomplish. Was it her? Was she the reason for her family's unhappiness? Or was it her dad, her mother?

Now the tears were spilling uncontrollably from her eyes. She shut her eyes closed, trying to contain the little droplets, but they kept escaping like they had a mind of their own. Her chest was heaving while she tried to take in oxygen, finding it harder and harder to do so each time. A panic attack was on the verge of happening, and she had no clue how to stop it.

In that same moment, her mind was blank - the pain was too much to let her think logically, to somehow stop whatever was coming to her next. The sob turned into whimpers, the tears were flooding her like a river and her breath hitched, desperately trying to catch up on the long lost oxygen from her lungs.

And then she heard a creak, barely distinguishable one, as the wooden door to her room opened. Her eyes opened suddenly and she sat up on her bed, inhaling and exhaling as deep as she could and trying to look as presentable to whoever was there, knowing that no matter what she did that would be impossible.