Voiceless |Book 1| Complete

36 | Conveying Feelings

Mumbles woke Jisung up, probably about 7:30 in the morning. He laid there in the bed hoping to fall asleep once more, which he did just for a few more moments. That was until movement that felt like thrashing, made him wonder what was happening. He wobbily sat up, rubbing his eyes in the dark, seeing Minho jutting his head to the left and right.

Jisung cocked his head to the side. Minho was having a dream, or rather it was a nightmare to the older, but Jisung hadn't known that in the moment.

Tapping his arm carefully.

"Min?" Jisung spoke raspily, drowiness slowly wearing off. Minho didn't respond, eyes still shut, but his hand gripepd the blanket.

"Minho-Hyung?" Jisung said, this time with more worry, because the older noe had tears brimming, and droplets falling down his cheeks. Jisung has yet to ever see Minho cry.

Finally nudging him just enough, he finally got the older awake, who because heaving heavy breaths. Soon sitting up. Jisung turned the lamp on, burning his eyesight in the process.

It didn't matter, Minho seemed to be in distress, rubbing his eyes to focus on the older again. Bringing his hand to rub his back.

"Hyung-" Jisung whispered, "Are you okay?"

It probably wasn't the best question, but the olders breathing was slowing down, so it had some sort of effect.

"Its alright Hyung. Breathe." Jisung tried to comfort the older who seemed so dazed still. His eyes brimming with tears, hand on his chest and one wiping the face.

Jisung really wasn't sure what to do in this case. Minho needed help, and Jisungs own crippling anxiety didn't know what he could do to help but rub the back trying to continue a steady breathing rhythm for the older.

About 10 minutes went by, Jisung saw progress of Minho finally coming to his senses.

"I'm okay Jisung. Thank you for trying." Minho subtly spoke turning to the younger whose eyes were looking at him with concern.

"This happens every Christmas. I hate it. I go home, or what should be home and I come back drunker than a skunk. I'm sorry you had to deal with me tonight."

Jisung sighed, Minho shouldn't have to appologize for feeling this way. It wasn't his fault that whatever he had going on personally, made him think he couldn't rely on someone else.

"Why are you saying sorry?"

"Because, I shouldn't be complaining about my life. I see how yours was, the abuse, the trauma and mine was considerably—"

Jisung cupped Minhos mouth stopping him from speaking. He didn't want to hear what Minho was about to say. Sure his life was hard, but even Jisung knew better than to compare their lives. Its what he came to learn as he grew up.

"Just cause I was abused Hyung doesn't mean your life was any better or worse. You clearly suffered some sort of emotional trauma too... Never compare your life to mine. Your life is just as important regardless of circumstances. I don't know your whole story. Why you feel like this, clearly you didn't have a support system to help you cope with whatever you went through-"

Jisung stopped his rambling, Minhos eyes covered by his hair.

"How are you so positive Jisung?"

"I'm not. Its relating to you and understanding the same things. You told me Hyunjin had his reasons, which I came to learn recently, you too have reasons. I'm hear to listen Minho. You don't have to bare whatever you are feeling alone anymore. You taught me that."

Minho looked up finally at Jisung, something about the way the younger seemed so mature in ways Minho didn't understand he found comforting. Minho believed he needed to be Jisungs Voice. Turns out all he needed was a little Jisung in his life to voice his own thoughts and issues. Something he found so admirable.

"You truely are something Jisung." Minho said with a small smile.

"I am here to listen hyung, whats on Minnies mind hyung? This is about ensuring you are heard too. Even if its one person."

Minho felt relief, he wasn't being asked what was wrong, but whats on his mind. He wasn't being asked about the dream. Why he cried, or why he was the way he is. Jisung approached it as he wasn't the actual problem, but a person with problems.

To know that he wasn't the issue made him feel better. Jisung treated him no different. Yet Minho was still hesitant. He believes Jisung, but he doesn't believe himself. He drew a line of personal boundaries with everyone.

"We can always talk when your ready Hyung... Maybe write what your feeling? Its at least a step?" Jisung reasoned with a smile, his fingers grazing Minhos bangs out of his eyes.

"Let me get you some water mhmm?"

Minho nodded, allowing the male to get up and grab water for him. Quickly shuffling with the empty glass out of the bedroom. Minho watched from the bed seeing the younger turn the tap on letting his hand run through it till it was cold. Subconsiously Minho relaxed, with asmile and letting a small laugh out. Of course the younger just seem to know.

Minho would talk when he was ready. He didn't push for answers. Another thing he admired about the younger.

Jisung came back into the room, handing the cup to the older, but he simply didn't want the water now. He wanted to be close to the younger. Branching open even if it was a small bit. His body moving on its own. His hand slowly cupping Jisungs neck, letting his eyes wander the younger, earning that same look as well.

"Hyung?"

"Mhmm?" Minho responded in short.

"To your question last night? You remember?"

Minho nodded, brushing his thumb along the youngers lower lip. A small yet subtle flinch befor Jisung let his hand fall on the olders that held his neck.

"I asked if you love someone."

Jisung nodded. Jisung leaned just a little closer, "Did you know that I love you hyung..."

Minho felt reassured now. Something felt right, his stomach heated, his neck burned. His gaze held the youngers.

"Me?"

"Mhmm..."

"You know Its going to be hard for me to open up right?" Minho had some sort of guard.

"I know..."

"It won't be easy"

"Maybe not, but thats okay." Jisung replied letting his body fall on the bed seeking closeness with the older.

"I'm broken, is that okay?" Jisung asked this time.

"I'll fix you." Minho proudly replied, letting his one hand pull Jisungs slim waist moving even closer.

"Will it be worth-"

Minho didn't let Jisung respond. Letting his lips collide with the younger. Jisung had frozen but quickly replied pushing back into the kiss with a smile.

"Of course it'll be worth it. Your my J-one, my quokka, my Jisung... Maybe my boyfriend?" Minho replied cheekily, pulling away from the kiss. Jisungs face reddened.

"Jerk. You're supposed to ask." Jisungs voice cracked from the embarassment that coursed through his body.

Minho chuckled, just abit. "Sorry sungs, will you be my boyfriend?"

"I meant ask to kiss me!" Jisung playfully slapped the older.

"Only if you say yes to my question." Jisung rolled his eyes, seeing the older teasing him. Nodding, he replied with one word.

"Yes." Minho leaned in once more, with a low whisper,

"Can I kiss you Jisung?" With a nod his heart set ablaze, his blood coursing, and mind buzzing.

Everything just felt perfect. Even if it had just been the worst day of the year for Minho himself. This made it just abit more memorable, and maybe he can start healing.

"Lets get something to eat. I'm starving." Jisung finally said kissing the older one more time before swiftly pulling himself out of bed.

"Sure thing Sungs." Minho smiled watching the younger put a skip in his walk out of the bedroom once again.