Voiceless |Book 1| Complete

Special Part 4

There are times where you wish someone was there, but then like a fog they disappear. When you frantically try searching for them, running in circles not able to catch up. Like a never ending hallway that just grows and grows but you still see that person in the same spot... Jisung only prayed he could see the older but only when he was free from the chains that bounded him.

To see Minho in front of him, he thought he was seeing things.

"You shouldn't be here..." Jisungs voice wobbled, his eyes traveling in areas that the older wasn't in, barely staying strong. His breath was taken away from the now blonde male in from of him. 

He wasn't actually here? No he can't be here. 

Don't look at him, he will know... 

Wait.. If I don't look at him he would know. 

Jisung knew he was screwed, maybe he was bordering the line of being delarious, shamed of the state he was in. The older being able to see what he did to himself, the pain and disasterous state he put himself through. The exhaustion and mental state he was falling into again. Old habits dying hard, resting at his finger tips. Minho being here meant Chan must have called him. Chan only called Minho when he had no clue what to do. that was always the last resort, because without Minho, Jisung would have been gone already.

Shame...

Minho took notice of the shield Jisung put up around him. He could see it instantly. The fear in his expression that told him don't come closer, yet the eyes also told him to break that barrier. Minho could sense that the younger was closing in on himself but Minho didn't take his eyes off the younger. 

They didn't stray from each other.

"Look at me." Minho whispered, leaning closer to the younger, who flinched at the movement. Minho froze on the spot, scared to make another movement Jisung would slip away. Given the state the younger was in he looked like he was barely able to run. Jisung slightly moved away, slipping from his bed on accident, stumbling cause of the IV cord in his hand, he gritted his teeth from the pull. stopping quickly. Trying to regain balance from his sudden movements Minho walked around the bed gently helping the younger back up, who was shaking like a god who was thrown out into the harsh winters. His skin pale, not even being able to hold himself up anymore, Minho had to grasp his waist.

He was sick.

"Sung? Look at you... What happened?" Was all Minho could get out. What else was he supposed to say.

Hey I missed you, come back to me again? No he couldn't say that yet He let his hand carefully reach Jisungs cheek.

"You don't belong here. Why do you keep showing up!?" Jisung finally had tears forming in his eyes. he wanted to pull away, but couldn't. He was paralyzed, simply from the older ones touch. 

Minho's eyes wandered from the youngers pale face, to the cheek bones that stood out. His stomach got butchered, seeing how sickly Jisungs frame was, the dark rings around his eyes, the loose silk shirt that barely covered his chest, as if skin and bones, he hardly had meat on his body. He could see the cuts along the youngers arms, the self harm he did to himself. 

looking at what this company did to him. what happened when Minho wasn't around anymore, 3 years destroyed the younger, twice trying to remove himself permanently. Minho couldn't take this anymore. 

Jisung looked away once again, guilt over taking his emotions.

"M Sorry, Hyung. I- I'm weak and I don't want to be here anymore."

"Sungs, don't say that. please don't say that." Minho panicked. the younger wasn't in the right mind anymore.

"I can't do this anymore Hyung. You shouldn't be here again. You have a life, You have freedom now. I gave it to you.. so don't care for me more anymore. Please... Just don't care. It makes it harder for me." Jisung said again. It was easy to pull the younger into his embrace again seeing he was so weak he couldn't even do anything about it.

"hush..." Minho hummed, only Jisungs sobs could be heard. The occasional hiccups, as he swayed the younger back and forth. Resting his head on the youngers neck, letting him settle into his embrace. He melted, they both did.

"Its okay." Minho calmly whispered, using smaller praise words in the process, "You did so well. You're okay now." He managed to get Jisung calmed long enough to waddle themselves back onto the bed. Craddling the younger in his arms, brushing the hair off his forehead, like he used to when Jisung had these moments.

Minho couldn't leave anymore. He was done staying idle in the background when this was happening to his ex-lover. He still loved Jisung, he never stopped.

Jisung played with the buttons of the olders peacoat, trying to think of anything that didnt involve him in this very moment. He felt secured, and safe. He wanted to bathe in this comfort for the rest of his life.

"Sungs... talk to me. What ever is happening, you can tell me..." Minho spoke with ease, Jisungs heart pounding with every word.

He was so afraid to tell the older. Tell him how he misses him, tells him how he wishes, everything was back when they were hapoy together.

"I can't..."

"You can Jisung, you can tell me." Minho pleaded softly.

Jisungs head rested just enough on Minhos chest that he could place his own on top of the youngers.

"Would it be easier for me to find out from Chan? Or Changbin whove been hiding stuff from me again? When it involves you Sungs, you know i'd walk water for you to make sure you were happy and right now you are anything but that."

Jisung fell silent, Minho nailed it on the head. He wasn't happy, anyone could see it, he was far, far from it.

"I'm okay..." Jisung mumbled.

"Like hell you are Jisung. When was the last time you slept? When was the last time you ate that wasn't forced by Chan? Or when was the last song you wrote that actually had inspired you to write it? You think I didn't notice? Jisung, I've listened to you music for over a decade. Something happened and I intend to find out so that I can help you."

Minho was done playing delicate. He had to expose the harsh reality. Jisung was practically dying in front of him and on the verge of falling apart like he did 6 months ago. He was far worse and Minho didn't know what to do anymore.

"You can't do anything for it Minho. Can't you see? I'm too far gone." Jisung said, pushing his barrier even higher.

"Stop lying to yourself, stop lying to me!" Minho spoke with a strained voice, trying to keep his composure.

"If you don't tell me, I'll storm that damned company Jisung, you know I will. I can't do this guessing game anymore."

"Why did you come back?"

Minho widened his eyes, that wasn't quite the reaction he was expecting, he expect Jisung to full out scream and yell at him, like he did last time, only for Minho to blindly tell him to take care of himself. Why was this time any different.

"Huh?"

"Why do you care? Why don't you hate me? Why do you keep coming back when clearly I push you away."

"The answer is simple Jisung... I love you, always have... I always will. You just need to trust me again and tell me whats wrong so I can help you."