Voiceless |Book 1| Complete

27 | One step at a time

What was Jisung thinking? His mind was practically buzzing, he has never been around enough people to consider close. He was practically Mute for Pete's sake, any social situation was bound to make him anxious. 

How did he end up sitting with Chan, Minho and Felix in the middle of a fancy Korean BBQ place?  He fiddled with his fingers, boring his eyes on one spot in particular. Trained on the grill waiting for the meat on it to finish cooking. It looked as good as it smelled, mouth watering to him. Jisung doesn't remember the last time he had such good meal like this. Even on Minho's birthday, he hardy ate, so this was practically a delicacy food to him, that wasn't basic ramyeon noodle or rice. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat as Felix went babbling about his school trip with the dance team went on for their first competition. Chan sitting with heart like eyes watching the raven spew random things. Minho rolling his eyes at his adopted brothers life before looking over at the younger, seeing him shift awkwardly. He shuffled his chair over just a little bit and placed his arm carefully over Jisungs chair leaning over.

"You okay?" Minho whispered, Jisung shivered hearing him whisper in his ear.

"Mhm... Yea..." Jisung responded quietly, looking over to the older who was super close to him. 

"I just wanted to make sure, you have this habit of fidgeting with your fingers. So I just wanted to make sure you were good." Minho took his one hand grabbing Jisungs to stop him from playing with his nails. Jisung huffed quietly, seeing Minho caught on to one of his uncontrollable habits.

"I-" 

Minho slightly smiled, "Want meat? it should be done?" He said pulling back and grabbing the tongs. Jisung nodded quickly his eyes widening, earning a larger smile from the older. He started pulling meats off the grill placing them on Jisungs plate. Chan watching the small interaction smiling. It was a nice change of pace from the intense vibe Minho seemed to give off. It was genuine and soft. 

He turned his attention back to Felix who was also staring at the interaction. His eyebrows were furrowed questioningly, as if trying to figure out what we was witnessing. Minho smiling genuinely was rarely unheard of from Felix's stand point. His eyes moon crescent like, as he placed food on Jisungs plate who looked at him with wide eyes of wonder. As if Chan and himself didn't even exist. He could hear the small whispered coming from the younger, so small and delicate and only directed to one person.  

"What am I witnessing?" Felix asked Chan eyeing his brother. "Minho told me Jisung doesn't talk?"

"That, my friend is the true side to both Jisung and Minho, they just needed the right person." Chan responded.

"That? The cold hearted, detached, emotionless brother is this?" Felix widened his eyes. he didn't mean for it to come out wrong, but he also was so confused about how delicate his brother was being considering he sent half his life with him showing the complete opposite. Sure, Minho could have that life too. But he wanted to be independent and take a different course. He refused to bow to his step father. His mother was no better. Felix could see this since they were younger. 

"it's weird... but nice..." Felix finally responded.

"It is isn't it? It's amazing what one person could do to make one change, even if its simply being there." Chan nodded his head taking a bite of his tteokbokki. 

Eating went well, all their stomachs full, including the one who wasn't used to such large portions of food. once they finished eating, leaving the restaurant and headed to Chan's car. Jisung walking behind everyone, Minho beside Chan before stopping to wait for Jisung to keep up with them. 

"Chan-Hyung? can I ask you a question?" Felix took a step faster to keep in pace with the older. He was simply curious and didn't mean to start a more or less intimidating conversation. 

"Why does Jisung not talk?" Felix obliviously asked which caught the attention of not just Chan but of both Minho and Jisung. Jisung suddenly shrinking in his stance and Minho glaring at Felix. Chan had stopped walking, a sour face placed on his own.  

"I'm sorry to make it awkward. I wasn't trying to impose as a threat to Jisung in the slightest!" Felix quickly threw his hands in the air, seeing Minho's usual deathly glare, the one he knew all too well from being younger. The silence chilling the air, none of them really spoke as to why he was like this and Felix was only curious.

"Its not your place to pry Felix. I already told you he is a special case and asking shit like that does not help in the slightest. Jisung could see Minho getting visibly upset for him. Minho gritted his teeth sending daggers. Jisung tried tapping Minho's shoulder to calm him down. 

"...Hyung..." Jisung choked out quietly all three of them could hear. Minho took his scary glare off his brother and looked at Jisung. Minho's expression faded instantly seeing the youngers doe like eyes. "It's okay..." Jisung mumbled under breath before continuing to walk like nothing happened. It was a subtle response.

"I really am sorry Jisung... I wasn't trying to start anything. I was just curious it slipped out." Felix looked down. He clearly made the younger uncomfortable with his question. "I just wanted to make sure I wouldn't trigger any bad reasons. Like- you know... If there was a bad memory, or if it was personal preference."

Jisung totally understood what Felix was implying and that fact he cared enough to try and know what would trigger him, made something bubble in his chest. He wasn't sure what that feeling was just yet. 

"You are brainless sometimes Felix, he doesn't talk about why he doesn't talk. Just leave it at that..." Minho responded catching up with the younger who was now speed walking. Minho remembered when he first found out why he didn't talk. How he was physically harmed for simply saying a single word. It made sense that he was quiet and never talked about it. How does one simply open up about being abused and told days on end how useless and annoying his voice was. It would be mentally taxing to anyone in that position. Of course over time Jisung has developed a way to communication both verbally and none verbal with Minho or Chan, but an outsider takes time regardless of if its a family member. 

Jisung stopped seeing the younger was paused where he was. He jutted his head for Minho and Chan to keep going to the car. Chan smiled, before dragging a concerned Minho away to the car. Leaving Jisung to try and make the first step. Felix's gaze was lowered, he didn't mean to ruin a perfectly good meal by his comment. Jisung came up to Felix, clearly realizing how quiet the raven got. He tapped his shoulder earning his attention. Pulling an old device out, his cell phone. opening the notes tab. he didn't even notice Jisung came walking back standing in front of the younger. 

'One day I might be able to tell you, but right now let me get to know you...' Jisung typed into the phone and showed Felix.

'I want to be friends, it will just take time. If you can wait for me???' Felix read it, looking at the older who shyly looked away swallowing thickly. 

"Really!" Felix jumped excitedly, grabbing Jisungs hands carefully. "I can wait. It shouldn't matter if you talk to me or not. I want to be friends too!" Felix responded, then realized another minor mistake. his hyperness got the better of him, but it seemed to have cleared the air. Jisung nodded and even let a small smile slip at the ravens actions. It was so subconscious.

"Sorry, right no sudden movements. I'll do better Jisung-ah!" Jisung tried hiding the blush that crept up over his cheeks. he didn't think Felix could be this adorable. he knew the moment he entered the room earlier that day, that Felix was just a ball of sunshine. and Minho himself said he couldn't hurt a fly. He decided maybe it was okay to trust Minho's words. 

Besides, Jisung truly did want more friends. Even if it was small progression like this one. He didn't want to be alone anymore and he wanted to get better. It wasn't that he had trust issues, it was strictly due to trauma. Jisung scurried away to Chans car as Felix followed behind.

"Wait for me! Don't leave without me!" Felix cried out catching up to Jisung. 

Jisung was odd, and Felix loved that and its only been a mere 5 hours meeting. Something deep down was telling him, that this friendship was going to be one worth keeping.