Voiceless |Book 1| Complete

Special Part 1

One of two things happen when you get a taste of fame. One being; fame gets into your head and you become arrogant, maybe even opinionated, you lose all sense of who you truely are. You lose those closest to you because you think they aren't worth being around you anymore... The second being, you live the life of luxery, but it rips you apart, from the inside out. The stress, the lack of privacy, the world being opinionated and not in a good way either, the people closest to you become distant. They become memories that just merely meant they were once apart of your life... This was Jisung, he felt destroyed, being eaten away. His mind bearly intact, how was he going to get a whole CD out in less than a month when his brain is completely drained of any inspiration. He had no vitality nore did he have vigor, no thoughts, no lyrics, he had nothing to go off of for his songs. His music had become dry, boring, downgraded from how impactful they used to be, how perfect, strong and relatable they used to be and now they are only getting worse as the days went by. His producers scolding, lecturing and degraging him saying this is his last chance to make a change, or a comeback otherwise they'll terminate their contract with him.

Dragging his feet towards the comfort of his bed, the bag dropped to the floor, keys chucked onto the table, he flopped down onto his bed, in his near empty apartment, exhausted from the long, strenuous day he had. By the time he was done with the meetings he had with his producers; which had him stressing out it was already 22:30.

Why couldn't it be like highschool and university again, where he could release his music any time he wanted? When he didn't need 14 songs all at once. He wished thats how it was to this day, but alas thats the way the cookie crumbles. Jisung knew was he was getting into signing that contract.

He groaned, barely moving an inch from his spot he claimed as his own, tears ready to fall. He was tired. Tired of the stress, tired of the expectations. Tired of coming home to an empty home. Something was missing in his life. He had to cut ties with many people he was close to. Including his lover, Lee Minho. The paparazzi just couldn't keep their nose out of his private life. It destroyed the relationship he had built. It destroyed the older, and ultimately crushed the younger. He couldn't stop the prying eyes of the public, so he pushed Minho away.

That night tore him apart, from the inside out, limb by limb, starting with his mind, moving down into his chest. He drank his pain away till he couldn't remember that night. It never did leave his mind, its all he remembers as his last memory with Minho.

How long ago since that night?

2? No 3 years ago. Jisung always wondered how the older was holding up. Was he happy? Healthy? Safe from the paparazzi?

Jisung, finally showing a small hint of life, curled in on himself, but he had just enough energy to pull his phone out, letting the blue screen lighten up in his already dark room. Squinting his eyes, he clicked on instagram.

Looking at all the memorable things that happened, or the ungodly amount of ads that were in the newfeeds. Finding one name in particular.

Lee.Min_98 liked your post. It was his last post with the older. He hadn't posted on his page in months. He couldn't. People just presumed he fell off the face of the earth, or just never used the app anymore, it was common in the fame world for that to happen. No one would notice how low Jisungs mind played him.

He still followed the olders insta, even after everything that happened. Jisungs mind twisted further into dispair. He was sorry to Minho. He broke multiple promises. They broke apart because of the life Jisung had to live since signing a piece of paper that pretty much owned him

Now that he thought about it. Ever since that dreadful night of hurting the older, that was the night his inspiration went out the window, never to be seen again. Minho was one of those people who kept him going, who kept him happy.

Now he wasn't happy.

He scrolled through Minhos profile, cats, more cats, even more cats and a few selfies of the older, a select handful of them together. He turned his phone off before he decided to do something stupid like message the older. He was only hurting himself more by looking to see if Minho was posting and alive.

To be honest, he wouldn't even be surprised if Minho did blocked him if he attempted messaging him.

Letting his phone slip through his fingers, falling onto his bed before turning over again. He tried closing his eyes. His head hurt, his neck was sore, eyes burned, stomach twisting as if saying he was hungry. He couldn't eat again, he didn't have the apetite to eat. But if he didn't eat, he would just end up in the hospital again.

The ticking of the two clocks that ran through his apartment were steady but offset with one another. One would tick to the tock and vise versa, soon Jisung was able to differientiate the two. One being from his bedroom, a harsh thunk tick and the other being a delicate click.

It made him want to rip his hair out, the sanity of the clocks drove him up the wall, but having little to no effort to change them or shut them off. So he left them.

A knock on the door was heard. Jisung simply ignored it.

Barely flinching at the sound the doorbell rang.

Probably more paparazzi?

Jisung thought to himself as he dragged himself out of bed, just to confirm his theory. Would he open the door? God no, he wouldn't do that just for some cameras to be shoved in him face. Not a chance.

Tapping his camera a hooded figure stood outside his door. The deep brown ruffled hair, the navy blue hoodie looked familiar. Unlocking the door and peeking through it.

"Changbin?" Jisung whispered-yelled, "What? What are you doing here?"

Jisung was stunned, to see the older right in front of him. He staggered slightly before falling forward, knocking the air out of Jisungs lungs as he caught him.

"Sungie? Wheres is my lix?" Changbin slurred. They haven't seen eachother in over a year since they met at the doctors office. Jisung hardly rememvers that day, but he remembered that Minho had finally fulfilled his doctor degree.

He just so happened to have been his doctor when he had an episode of malnourishment. They hadn't seen eachother since then. Jisung only remembers it as a blur, nothing registered when they said he passed out during his concert. And he was slowly slipping into that same bad habit.

"Changbin... are you drunk?" Jisung questioned. It was a stupid question, he could smell the pungent alcohol all over the older. It was a no brainer.

"Nope..." Changbin giggled, popping the 'p' in the sentance. Jisung rolled his eyes. He hated drunk Changbin. Why did he even come here in the first place.

"Stand up Bin, I can't carry you." Jisung weakly said. It wasn't a lie perse, but again he to had no energy.

Carelessly dragging the older to his bed. With any strength he had left threw him onto the heap of blankets.

So much for time to cry.

Once Changbin was placed into the bed, Jisung rubbed his temples., walking towards his couch.

With another sigh, he laid on his couch, drifting unconcious, thinking maybe, just maybe a restful sleep would occure, a wonderful dream would present itself.

Boy was he wrong, it was anything but that.

How much longer could he endure this pain?