Voiceless |Book 1| Complete

1 | Color of Fate

"I'm not used to it; no matter what you

say, so why am I like this?

My heart is trembling, babe, even if I try

to be calm

My trembling voice and sloppy gestures

Even if you shout again for no reason,

even if you talk to me."

The music stopped playing, and so did the recording. A coughing fit broke out in the room, and Jisung's throat dried from the repetition.

Just a little more Jisung, is what he would think.

He grabbed his water and guzzled a quarter of the bottle, feeling the cool sensation that brought his lungs and throat back to normal. As he sipped his drink, he restarted the track, waiting for the part he always seemed to mess up. Humming to the beat, breathing in and letting his voice out.

~ "Even if you shout again for no reason,

even if you talk to me." ~

Jisung's voice strained, and the effort to produce his melodic sound was evident in every note. The vocal cords rubbing against each other caused him to pause, the pain evident in his expression. Stopping the track once more, he decided to take a break. Placing the headset on the stand, his throat was parched, so as he left the recording booth, he grabbed another sip of water and went to the sound system. Watching the sound waves on the screen, it all looked to be in check, which seemed fine; all the while, it indeed wasn't.

Another coughing fit could be heard through the studio, this time from him. He struggled with each breath.

I'll try again tomorrow.

Jisung shut down the booth, taking his USBs, cords, and laptop and making sure there was no evidence left that he was there. Once he was satisfied, he checked the time.

21:45.

"Shit! My parents will skin me alive! If they find out, I'm not home, in my room by 22:30." This thought buried deep into his mind, knowing the aftermath wasn't the typical scoldings an average child would receive. He shivered just thinking of the consequences.

Rushing out of the studio, he remembered to shut the lights off. He sprinted down the hall and out of the music building. Luckily, the number of students with night classes was scarce, so it was the best time to go where he wanted and not feel burdened.

He placed his earbuds in and scrolled through his iPhone as he waltzed down the dimly lit pavement. The breeze was warm for a fall night, and the crinkling of tree leaves was inaudible due to the music playing. He looked at his new stats: people have been streaming 50,000+ views on a song he released.

Jisung only felt his heartache, so why did he feel this way? He was known as what's called a mute. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't find the words when people were around. The result? for this... Ridiculed, hurt, and ostracized from the public. Now, he didn't particularly mind being alone. In fact, he found it somewhat comforting. Jisung couldn't let anyone in, so that meant being externally hurt was his opinion. He'd preferred to be picked on and beaten up by the weak than let someone into his lonely life. Staying alone meant no heartbreak; Jisung learnt at a young age that love was easily obtainable. However, once lost, regaining it was a rollercoaster- one he would rather not be impervious to.

He made his way to the front of the house. Staring at the place he called home, the light dimmed with subtle flickers announcing it was most likely to burn out, the porch ragged, the railings splinted as they were ready to fall at any moment. He was sneaking to the side of the house. Grabbing the rope from his bag and slung it over the tree. Yes, he gets into the house this way all the time. To avoid what he calls deadbeat parents, they pretend he doesn't exist, or at least he tries. The less presence he had, the easier it was for him to live his life.