Voiceless |Book 1| Complete

39 | Rules of Knowing

Jisung would never in his life be able to put enough words into a sentance with his anxiety even if his life depended on it. His palms sweating, his heart thumping almost as if it was a drum and people could hear it. His gaze facing everywhere that wasn't at the individual who sat in front of him.

Being in this situation already was awkward but the silence was just purely agonizing for the younger.

Hyunjins calm expression, that was on his face, he sipped his coffee as if nothing was wrong. Letting his hand fall to the table and crossing his arms looking back at Jisung. Shifting again under the gaze Jisung looked back at his coffee.

He knew he should say thank you, but somehow words just weren't coming out.

So forcing himself even more he swallowed heavily lifting the cup carefully and nodded his head with a shaking voice,

"Than-k thank you f-for th-the coffee."

God this hurt him so much trying to speak. It wasn't like was singing and ripping his vocals out. It was just simply trying to thank Hyunjin for his kind gesture. The gesture that one, ultimately got him his coffee and out of talking with a stranger.

Hyunjins eyes widened, at the youngers words, pulling the coffee to his lips but said a small word, which even caught Jisung off guard.

"Soft..." Hyunjin mumbled out sitting closer to the table. Jisung flinched ever so slightly at the moment. Looking up at Hyunjin. Finally meeting his gaze.

"Huh?" It seamlessly slipped out in confusion. Like a small hum.

"Your voice. Its soft. Soothing. It just boggles my mind I've never heard you speak until recently. It really is soft to listen to." Hyunjin ellaborated sipping his coffee again.

"Its nice to hear."

"Min-minho said... The same..." Jisung carefully choose his words. Hyunjin smiled, with a small chuckle.

Jisungs face heating up from it.

His smile is pretty.

Jisung thiught to himself. It was different. This Hyunjin was different. Calm, cool, collected. Slightly reserved but not closed off. Dare Jisung say he looked friendly and warm to socialise with. His guard wasn't up like it usually is.

It was just right?

"Well Minho isn't wrong. He knew a good person when he saw one." It sounded bitter but it wasn't threatening.

"Have you been alright? Its been awhile?" Hyunjin questioned. Jisung had an inkling of knowing what he was refering too, looking away shyly.

"Its- better." Was all he could come out with, quickly sipping his drink again.

It was like all eyes were on him and Hyunjin, yet no one was actually looking. Jisungs anxiety was just that high, that a sudden word, a sudden slip would send everything down hill.

He was still seeking therapy to get aclimatized to speaking to strangers, but it didn't mean it was any easier. Even if it was the same guy who bullied you through most of highschool going into university.

Yet Jisung knew somehow the person in front of him was different. Which begged the question he unknowingly asked out loud.

"Why aren't you with family? Its Christmas?" It slipped out so quick, Jisung didn't even have a second to think before he panicked.

"I mean! No- you. I... Just... I'm sorry!" Jisung was throwing random words out now. Waving his hands as if he offended the older.

"Jisung... Its fine, breathe." Hyunjin said calmly, taking the youngers hand in his own. All thoughts out the window. A small gesture to help him calm down.

What is this feeling?

"My parents are working. They always do. So its fine." Hyunjin said seeing that the younger was frozen in place.

"I'm used to it. Being alone that is..."

Used to being alone on all days like this?

A small smile lingered on Hyunjins lips before pulling himself back to grab the coffee again.

"You shouldn't be. Being alone is absolute dog poo. Like no one deserves to be alone especially during Christmas. Its families and friends... And significant others. Memories to be made— its where reconciliation is done to make up with people—" Jisung paused.

"I-" Jisung wanted to hide so far down he regretted everyword. Every sentance he just threw out there in a span of thirty seconds is going to cost him like 3 hours worth of anxiety and coping. The most words hes ever said to someone that wasn't Minho or Chan or even to Felix.

"You love to ramble."

Is that bad? Jisung looked down avoiding the olders gaze.

"Sorry..."

"Why are you appologising? Stop appologising. Was it because I said you love to ramble? It was meant in a good way. Hearing you talk is a breath of fresh air. Its soft and oddly comforting and familiar." Hyunjin said with a smile.

Jisung let go of his breath he held unsure of what to make. Did talking to much give away his mask?

Hyunjin couldn't possibly find out about him being JOne no? Nonsense. He had to be smart but not that smart.

Jisung let a small smile out.

"You mentioned your used to being alone... Thats-"

"Like every kid, they have a story of their own... Mine just happens to be I grew up neglected by parents and got caught in the wrong crowd. Minho was my support beam. He helped me but in doing so it came at a price. One that I regret..." Hyunjin explaining in the shortest way and easiest story possible.

Jisung recalled Minho saying something similar one time. Chan said it was tpxic but was it because Hyunjin only had him to rely on?

"Minho said I can trust you. A part of me was worried to... But I believe most people deserve second chances. So maybe... I can give you one too." Jisung said standing up quickly.

"You'll give me a chance to redeem myself?" Hyunjin stood up as well following the younger out. It was as if it was natural for the two to walk together. Though, if anyone knew these two. They were far from being considered aquaintances or friends. They were purely bully and victim at the time.

Maybe they could be friends.

Jisung wasn't sure. But he would try for Minhos sake.

Minho trusts Hyunjin even if Chan said he was toxic. There was always more to a story that was left unsaid.

Hidden voices that lingered in the back of ones mind. Minho knows it all.

"Jisungie? Can I call you that?" Hyunjin said with a small red hue tainting his face. Whether it was from going from a warm environment to a cold frost bitten one, it was a different expression to see.

Relaxing.

Jisung nodded, not really wanting to say another word but he did anyways.

"Do you want to come over to the dorm? Minho should be home soon, Chan and I think Felix will be there too. Cause as I said. No one deserves to be alone regardless of who they are. Thats just a rule."

"Weren't you always-"

"I was... But not anymore." Jisung cut the older off. Hyunjin nodded.

"I guess thats our rule then? No more being lonely?"