solace | eddie munson x reader [y/n]

016

Warning!: very brief mention of suicidal ideation. if you are struggling, you are not alone.  ♡

       Anxious was not strong enough a word to describe your state for the rest of the week. Jason's notes had continued every day, name-calling getting worse each time. Eddie had seen that something was off, but you covered it up, telling him about a made-up fight with your mother.

He bought it enough not to scrounge for details even when he wanted to. Which was how he felt Thursday when you called the trailer to say you couldn't drive him that morning.

His frantic, "Is everything okay?" made you feel guilty for lying. You had far too many worries now though; it made you a tangled mess of depressive feelings and nerves. That emotion didn't offer much room to prioritize worrying about Eddie.

       The day's note was slipped in your bag by Chance, figuring that sending one of the less obvious jocks would be more subtle. The tactic was successful and you found the note while digging around for some gum. This attack was more personal, leaving you wondering how Jason could get so deep in your mind.

It said something about your father being dead and using Eddie to fill that hole. I can't cry again, you willed yourself, not now. Although, it felt like you'd been stabbed with a hot blade.

You weren't meeting with Ms. Kelly until next week, unfortunately. If you needed to, you could stop by her office and explain what was going on. But asking for help still wasn't easy for you. Nonetheless, your mental health was struggling to stay afloat dealing with Jason's assholery and you needed something.

Weed seemed like a good quick fix.

       When Eddie appeared next to you at your locker, you scrambled to tuck the piece of paper out of sight. Your next move was smart and rerouted his suspicion; you asked the drug dealer for a little bit of his supply. His lips rounded into a pout as he turned his eyes down to analyze you.

"You're gonna smoke without me?" he asked, voice terribly innocent. He'd give you anything you want, but he was sad at the thought of you not smoking with him.

"It's only for when we aren't together. If you have band practice or shows and stuff," you explained. The rationalization came out without much confidence behind it. Your body language reflected how you were feeling: awkward, shy, and consumingly anxious.

Eddie eyed you, squinting like it might help him see you better. He figured that there was something you weren't telling him, and that something was upsetting you.

"Okay," he agreed but sounded unsure. "I'll give it to you after school."

"Thanks." The volume of your voice was low as you looked at your feet.

"You'd tell me if you weren't okay, right?"

You made eye contact with him and found whisky pools full of worry. It sent you into the defensive, not wanting him to figure you out. The dark cloud that had lingered over your head all week seemed to get the best of you.