solace | eddie munson x reader [y/n]

020

"Robin, I have a problem. Like a big problem."

       The freckled girl slouched in the uncomfortable chair with her brow tweaked up in curiosity. You sat across from her at the end of one of the school library's lengthy wooden tables.

The entire weekend you had spent alone, telling Eddie you had loads of homework and needed to be without distraction. In actuality, you were freaking the fuck out after realizing your feelings for him. The hours dragged on painfully as you went back and forth between pacing your bedroom carpet and driving around town to blast music in an effort to rattle the thoughts from your head. At one point you even screamed into your most dense pillow before flopping down to accept defeat.

You had no clue what to do, and you needed help or comfort or something. So you called Robin up Sunday evening to emphasize there was an emergency and she needed to meet you for your free period. Hence why you two sat nestled in the corner among rows of bookshelves.

"Uh oh," she answered your statement. "Are you alright?"

"Yes. No. I don't know." You slid both hands in your mess of hair, tugging it away from your forehead in stress. "It's about Eddie."

This made the girl's lips wind up cheekily. She crossed one arm over the other on the tabletop and leaned forward. "You fell for him."

"What?" You looked up at her, baffled.

"You fell in love with him," she asserted. The expression on her face almost seemed pleased.

"No!" The term felt so extreme; it was too much for you to think about. "I mean, kinda?"

"Kinda?" Robin mocked, giving you a look.

"I am feeling things I don't think friends should feel for each other..." you trailed off to recall the way your chest surged with warmth while looking at your curly-haired friend.

When you pictured him, you started to feel it again. With a groan you let your head drop on the desk.

"Okay, so you want to be more than friends then?"

"I think so, but at the same time I don't," you admitted. To meet her eyes you rolled your head to the side. "I'm confused and I don't know what I feel."

On one hand, you couldn't deny you felt different. What you felt for Eddie was something stronger than before. You really love him and want to be able to show him that. You wanted more between you, to be able to do things couples do. In some ways you already did: you held hands, hugged, cuddled, and constantly touched. The main distinction was that you didn't kiss or do...other stuff.

But on the other hand, you could not risk sacrificing what you two had now.

If you changed how you acted towards him or somehow worked up the courage to tell him how you felt and it went poorly, you couldn't handle it. Losing him would be far more painful than one-sided love. So you were fine with suffering in silence as just friends.