Self-love and acceptance (for a spiritual teen)

final results + takeaways

i didn't make it. but, i think it's ok. during the past year i've seen tons of people losing so many other, more 'important' things. i've witnessed some friends lose their parents or close family, lose themselves to drugs and other harmful stuff, lose their mental and physical health and just so many other things. i'm genuinely thankful and happy that i made it out with the bare minimum damage.

i'm not sure how much of my experience can be credited to this journal, though. while maintaining it was a good getaway from my life sometimes, it did sometimes make me too longsighted. borderline delusional, even. as in, at all times, all i valued was passing an entrance exam that quite far in the future. and, as i've come to realise, not very important at all.

now, the unfortunate truth is that i really didn't prepare much for any of the other exams i had the chance to take up. i currently might have to attend a pretty strict university, with a somewhat exorbitant fee. and i probably might be quite lonely there, since none of the people i know even applied there... 

fortunately though, the university has amazing facilities (almost equivalent to my dream university). so i think, in the long run this was probably for the best. in short, i think i'll end up befriending that (current) top 1%, instead of the future 'self-made' rich people lol.

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here are some of the key takeaways from my experience:

1. organised thought process. at the very least, you'll be aware of what you want and know what you're looking forward to.

2. confidence. something consequential of organisation. 

3. hope. be sure to be reasonable with this one. while it's good to hope and aim for the absolute best, we must also learn to accept what generally just 'ok'. but hope comes in handy when times are desperate. stay rational, though.

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some things to avoid:

1. never doubt. not even once. people aren't kidding when they tell you to trust the process.

2. never stop working. sure, the universe is helping you, but you need to put in your best efforts too... keep up with your side of the deal.

3. never be scared to admit to your plans. sometimes, saying it will further help you to believe it. it could motivate you to work even more.

4. if it helps/ is possible, avoid people who demotivate you. anybody who comes in with anything negative to say, (anytime when you're still in the process of preparing) please shut them out. i personally had my family by my side, constantly telling me that second best was ok even before i took my exam. be sure to not let words like those get to you.

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p.s. : sorry about the late update... this has been in my drafts for quite a while and i just realised that it was yet to be published haha.

take care. xx.