The Exchange Student, the Pop Prince and the Raffle Tickets

Chapter Thirty Nine: The New Eden Lodge

When at home all I wanted to do was collapse in my bed. I was greeted with papers, pictures and rubbish everywhere. I mentally screamed at the sky storming over to my bed throwing them around the room, before going over to my desk and thrashing those papers about too.

I was upset, angry, frustrated. I wanted people to help me look for Bindi but I knew that I had told everyone that I could it on my own. I was failing myself. I needed help but I was way too proud to ask for it. It had been a struggle to even ask Grey.

I was twenty years old angry, crying, feeling like a failure.

I made the decision in seconds. I was giving up.

I fell onto my bed and didn’t wake up until my alarm went off the next day.

I didn’t know if I doubted my decision the minute I had made it but I was stubborn when I wanted to be and I this was just one of those times where I had to stick with it no matter how much I didn’t want to. People constantly commented on my improved behaviour at work, I seemed happier and more approachable. Inside I was still on the lookout for Bindi but whenever a thought popped into my head I instantly put it to the back of my mind. Like Kristin said, she didn’t want to be found and right now, I didn’t want to find her.

I worked out that Bindi had been missing for nearly a year. I had been looking for her for about nine months, both in America and England. That was enough to reassure me that Bindi was gone.

Kristin loved the so called ‘new Eden Lodge,’ she was more willing to go on nights out and take on extra shifts at work which pleased them to no end. Lily and Dad would often come home to a very clean house and sometimes even a meal.

This new Eden Lodge was more helpful and appreciated by everyone.

I had to admit I liked the new Eden Lodge a lot better too. I wasn’t so down and upset, with my head always up in the clouds not caring about anyone, I had come obsessed with finding Bindi that nothing else had mattered.

I hadn’t told Jesse through email that I had stopped trying to find her just that she was becoming increasingly hard to find and that maybe I had been wrong all this time. My reply from Jesse was yet to arrive. Not that I minded so much. Now maybe was the best time for me to just stop holding on so much to the past. I could really move on and get on with the rest of my life. I guess the only good part of going to America was Grey Leonne who I had kept in close contact with now since my birthday.

He was going back to America soon after a few more shows around Europe but promised that we would see each other again before he went. A weird sensation turned in my stomach, was that butterflies I was feeling?

I knew that Kristin and Jack had gotten together again after our trip away to the festival all those months ago but now, they were turning serious. I just hadn’t talked to her about it because I was always so wrapped up in my own dramas.

Apparently they were talking of marriage after university, they only had two more years of it left and they already lived together. Jack was even saving up for a ring for Kristin and I was in charge of leaving hopeful hints on what she wanted so I could report back to ~Jack.

My best friend getting married was the next step in my life as well as being promoted. As well as seeing Kevin more and more now that he had gotten over or really, I had gotten over the little episode earlier on in the year. I think I could even go the whole way and say that Kevin and I were seeing each other. We were nearly at the two month stage where maybe, just maybe I could call him my boyfriend, and then Lily and Dad could meet him.

We would mostly go out for dinner or stay round his, go to the cinema, take days off work so we could just be together. We were having fun in each other’s company, I really liked him. His funny humour, those big brown eyes and his hair now fluffier but best still, he made me forget.