The Wanted Pet

57

Xander

Fuck, what the hell did I just do, I just fuck let the moment take itself and kissed her because maybe I am falling for her, no I can't be, I'm the prince of darkness, I'm the cruel monster that shouldn't even be walking this earth, I can't love a human but what she said it sounded like she really cared for once in my life, someone saw me as the victim and not the monster but if I keep letting my emotions get to me, my heart get to me it will get her in trouble, I can't care about her.

I just need to switch it off again, switch off the emotions be the monster I always have been but it's just too hard, but I can act, if she knows I'm going soft, starting to grow feelings she will use it against me.

I want to trust her I really do but I have been backstabbed before and it ruined my life, I know soon enough the spotlight will be on my clan that is the only positive about taking over all of humanity, the empire has been distracted but they won't be forever, I can't have anyone making me vulnerable but she already is, I genuinely hated myself for what I did and I never feel like that then when she seems to understand me it put butterflies in my stomach but I can't, I don't want to become soulless but I have always feared my humanity, my emotions I suffered too much with them and I slowly feel them coming back. I should just kill her, it will make everything easier or get Noah to do it but then I don't want to either fuck, I just need to act like I'm cruel to make her hate me, make her fear me it's the only way to save the both of us.

"Earth to Xander" I just jump as Darcy hits me and I sneer at him.

"Fuck man we were literally talking about your favourite topic which was maiming and killing and you were staring into space the entire time," Connor says

"Just zoned out I guess" I mumble

"He just misses playing with his pet," Darcy says, we have this dinner every few weeks just so we can openly talk about non-human business I am relieved though when I kissed her just left the room in a panic, I kissed her before but this felt different, it felt real and it shouldn't be she is nothing more then my pet, my toy to use and abuse and it has to stay that way.

I just shrug "I just don't want to go tomorrow, Mathias hates me," I say

"He is like your biggest fan man," Noah says yeah biggest fan because he is trying to use me because he is scared of me.

"I will show him how much of a fan I am of him" I grumble, if the other sectors weren't going, if my clan wasn't going I wouldn't go, he did invite me to go there privately a few years ago and I'm not that stupid, maybe it was genuine but I don't and will never trust outsiders, especially empire vampires they are almost different species to us.

"Behave brother" Noah chuckles as I just shrug I only behave because the morons have a lot of power, a power that does make me somewhat cautious, even if I can kill him in a second I would have hundreds trying to hurt me and my brothers, my clan I may be seen as a monster but I do care for people but Caelyn said that doesn't make me a monster fuck even being away her right now is making me crazy, I just want to be around her and I can't feel that way, but I can't let my brothers know either if they know I could be falling in love, they will kill her it's the pact we made, but how can I love someone when I don't even know what love is, when I barely understand it.

"I always behave," I say, I sort of have to know because I don't want Caelyn getting hurt either maybe she has a spell over me she has to have something, but I know the only way to fix this situation is to ensure she doesn't think I'm falling for her but the more I hurt her, the more it hurts me, fuck what if me biting her has made us bonded, maybe I should ask her she would know, the rest of the dinner goes quick even if I barely talk, the good thing is Bruno did his end of the bargain and dealt with the stupid bitch Cynthia so that's one thing off my chest, the bell goes as I just walk to my room.