•All will be Male x Female as that is what I'm comfortable with writing.
•The characters are not owned by me, all credit goes to Hoyoverse for them.
•Cover and any media in this also not owned by me, credit goes to original owner.
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WARNINGS: Death, bl00d
Not according to lore . . . . . •───────•°•❀•°•───────•
She was grand. She was beloved by her nation. She was who I admired to become, my mother.
Gone.
He reached his hand out for me. He taught me the ways of living. He claimed to be my family.
Gone.
He promised me that he wouldn't leave me like the others, anyone would believe the pure words of a kid, right?
Gone.
I had mentioned only 3 betrayals to the traveller, because that was all I had witnessed in the time of my living.
I hadn't known, that all of these betrayals, were because of me. Because how unlikeable my mother made me.
Or maybe I can be loved, maybe I can be respected. Perhaps that was the case with her, but she too but gone, and I can't blame her. I can't blame the traveller either. In the end it all comes down to me.
In my many years of living, I had known only one thing. Never trust anyone. That was my lesson after the three betrayals I had by my closest. And yes, I followed that for all my years as a harbinger and then as an outcast. But a being, even a worthless puppet as myself, gets played into the hands of cruel fate.
She was...everything I wanted to be. And she wasn't even a God. An ordinary human, born and raised in Sumeru, with an ordinary life and lived ordinarily. Not one bit of sorrow was evident in her eyes, not one bit of misfortune or grief.
I hated her. She made my blood boil.
When she stood in front of me, her hand reaching out to shake mine, I wanted to spit on her shoes. How dare she be so cheery around me, I would think. It made me sick. She was irritating and annoying and a nuisance and I wanted to end her life right there and then shen she stood in front of me with that smile she looks down at the needy people. She felt pitiful for me. Me, a God.
My rage from the day I met her had never been truly quenched. But as time passed on, a cruel thing time is, I grew to find myself...fond of her?
I no longer had the desire to mercilessly kill her. I had grown calm around her. Very strange, is it not? People know me to be short tempered, she changed that however. It's as if she had magic in her fingertips, and each little graze or touch took me to another world. And soon enough, we started spending more time together other than just professionally. She was everything like I overheard from people, the exact description. She was perfect.
But humans...they tend to leave details out. Many details. She joined the Akademiya at a surprisingly young age, I figured it was pure, dumb luck. No, she climbed several mountains ever since she was born to get here. And a person like the traveller would think that she was finally happy, right? Wrong, so wrong that it makes me want to snicker in their face.
I learnt that she is in a constant terror of ever missing a step and falling down the mountain. Similar to me, no? We share so many similarities that I hadn't notice because of how well she manages to hide them. She's truly brilliant, she is worthy of a God. I still envy her for being more capable of me, but my creator gave me mortal feelings.
I fell in love with her.
I hated her even more that, she made me fall in love with her. So I had initially no regrets when she stood in front of me, determined to end me, along with the traveller and her weapon. The rage I felt, it came over me. It washed over my vision. All I saw was red. Crimson, bloody red.
And that colour was all I had left on my hands. The traveller vanished, leaving the only person who stayed by their side to die alone. She completed her goal, she ended my never achieved reign. At what cost however? She's dead.
The traveller hurried away with that awful floating thing. Her high pitched voice telling them to go as she laid on the ground, unable to even move a finger, drawing a few final breathes. Something came over me. A wave, no, a tsunami, of guilt. The earth was shaking under, my breathing was trembling. I reached my hand out to feel her, I felt the body, the warmth fading away.
I had never truly appreciated her eyes. She looked gorgeous in her death, but she didn't have that pitiful smile that I hated.
I told her those damned words, hoping to give her peace in Celestia. The smallest of grins spread across her face. But not the one she has when she looks down upon with the needy.
Hers fulfilled everything I lacked. Respect, humanity, love....
She filled that void in me, filled my puppet heart. I could feel in beating in my veins. What a beautiful feeling it was, the feeling of being one with Teyvat. I could never thank her enough for it.
However, nothing lasts. Not even the stars in the distant galaxies, that astrologist's readings were always wrong for this reason.
The feeling vanished when she gave my hand a last, final squeeze. She closed her mesmerizing eyes, me being the last being to ever witness them.
All this happened long ago, longer than my memory serves me. The traveller has long found their kin. They live happily, everyone seems to be living happily in this world. Mother found peace thanks to them, the descendant of that clan feels fulfilled by the knowledge of his ancestors with the help of the traveller, a school was built in place where I burnt the boy's resting, also because of the traveller.
So why is it I still feel as if I don't belong? Because I truly don't. My existence is a curse upon this world, a nuisance. I hide between the stars and the sky, where not even Celestia's gaze will reach, with the everlasting pain of her death. I ran from the Akademiya, too ashamed to face anyone. I'm once again a wanderer.
I visit her grave, bringing her favourite items each time. I feel so foolish doing this, she's long gone. I keep hoping it'll give me that feeling of being human or God, something with a heart. Alas, I'm expected to failure. But she never stopped hoping, I shouldn't too.
I wish to join her several times, but I'm a lifeless puppet. I have no chance of joining the heavens, nevermind the ground. So I keep living. I live and live and live. I make myself go through this torture of living over and over till I feel satisfied.
My fury, turns out, will truly never be quelled.
This world deserves to be thrown into a pit of suffer.
I, deserve to be thrown into that same pit.
In the end it was I who killed her. There is no one else to blame. I deserve to be going through this endless cycle.
