THREE ;
never be okay.
E,
I think it really, truly hit me that your absence is permanent today. You're not on a vacation, you're not just ignoring my calls and messages or anything like that. You're gone.
Dead.
Maybe the stages of grief weren't all made up bullshit like I always thought. This isn't me saying that i've accepted that you're gone. That's not something I think i'll ever be able to do, but I think that i've finally admitted to myself that you won't ever be coming back.
It's been bad lately. That's not me saying it isn't bad all of the time, because it is But lately, I've barely been able to get out bed. And when I do, it's always because James has let himself in and forced me to get up and eat something. He keeps saying that alls he's doing is gently parenting me or something like that, but I don't care. Alls I can think about is that it's been three and a half months and I can't even remember how I got to this point. The last few months have been a complete blur, i'll admit.
I miss you.
Everything has been far too much lately, E. Usually when this happens, I go to you. What am I supposed to do now that you're the reason I feel like i'll never be okay again?
James is here, so I guess it's time for dinner. I'll talk to you again soon, I promise.
I love you.
Yours,
Will
YOU ARE READING
𝐃𝐈𝐀𝐌𝐎𝐍𝐃𝐒, w.soot
FanfictionWatch the bright eyes as they slowly sink into sleep And that same old silence that I've come to know Every time I find it when there's nowhere left to go or " I wish I could hate you even half as much...
