𝐃𝐈𝐀𝐌𝐎𝐍𝐃𝐒, w.soot

TWELVE.

TWELVE ;
funny feeling.

E,

I went outside today for the first time in two months. I had every intention of visiting you, but I chickened out last second and went into the cafe across the street. I wasn't looking for company, but I was pleasantly surprised to run into the flower girl from before.

I think that I just wanted a friend who didn't know me from before. One who didn't look at me with so much sadness and pity, despite their good intentions. Mia was like a breath of fresh air because she knew exactly why I was there in the first place, but she didn't try and force me to talk. She didn't even see me at first, actually. She was handing a soft pink rose to an older man and had nearly walked right past me.

When she noticed me, she grinned and handed me another flower.

We talked for maybe ten minutes before she had to leave, but that was okay with me. I hope you aren't mad that I was a little bitch and didn't commit to going to visit you. Life is hard, E. And i'm struggling so badly right now that I don't think I could of handled going to see your grave today.

Before I stop for tonight, I thought that i would tell you about the little note I found in my coat pocket when I got home today. It said "it might not be today, or tomorrow or even next year, but things will be okay again one day, I promise."

It makes me think that maybe she's gone through something similar...or maybe she's just a genuinely good person. I don't know, but it's almost refreshing in a way. It's been a while since i've talked to someone who wasn't trying to get the old Will back. Some days I don't think i'll ever be him again.

It sounds weird now that i'm thinking about it, but I don't really know how to explain. I think that I just like the fact that she doesn't have any old versions of me to compare.

I miss you.

Yours,
Will