EIGHTEEN ;
home.
E,
My mum misses you. She tried not to be too obvious about it while I stayed with her, but I could tell. I think she forgets how similar we really are sometimes. For the first time in a year and a half I was able to talk about you. The conversation didn't last long, maybe only fifteen minutes, but I could tell she needed to talk about you just as much as I apparently did. It felt nice remembering you, E. It's a weird thing to say, but it's true. We both cried the entire time and I still couldn't say (or hear) your name without it all becoming too much to handle, but mum said that's okay. She kept reminding me that my grief really doesn't give a fuck how long it's been and to let my heart heal at it's own pace.
I don't know why I didn't come visit her sooner.
That's a lie. I didn't come because I didn't want my mum too see just how badly i was doing. She visited a few times, but she didn't stay long enough to see me breakdown. I think she probably (definitely) knew what was going on, but I was glad she didn't call me out on it. Something about being around your mother and emotions being even harder to deal with. I don't know. But our talk made me realize that I really wasn't the only one hurting, despite feeling more alone then I ever have. I wish I would've come over, but she told me she was glad that I prioritized my own feelings.
I told her about how thankful I am for Mia and James and she asked me if it would be out of line to invite them over for dinner one day. Obviously I said that it was totally fine, but to make sure she baby proofed the house before they came over. They really are like children, E. It's very amusing.
The only thing that would make that dinner better is if you were there too.
I miss you.
Yours,
Will
YOU ARE READING
𝐃𝐈𝐀𝐌𝐎𝐍𝐃𝐒, w.soot
FanfictionWatch the bright eyes as they slowly sink into sleep And that same old silence that I've come to know Every time I find it when there's nowhere left to go or " I wish I could hate you even half as much...
