FIFTEEN ;
365 days.
E,
I don't know how it happened, but today is the one year anniversary since you left me all alone. How is that even possible? How has it already been a year? I remember saying that time has been weird for me, and it has. But a year?
It doesn't seem real.
It's been one year and I still miss you just as much as I always have. I've accepted the fact that I always will, but today felt...different. I had expected the one year anniversary to leave me feeling worse than I have the last few weeks. I had expected it to be bad, and it was. But not in the way I had anticipated.
It doesn't feel like i'm drowning right now, if that makes sense. It doesn't feel like a wave of grief is crashing over me, leaving me unable to breath and unable to see even a little bit of hope for the future. It's become a sort of ache, I guess. One that I think i'm going to have to live with. The pain doesn't feel as overwhelming, not as urgent, and I think that's because i've finally accepted the fact that the pain isn't ever going to completely go away.
Time passes but it doesn't heal any wounds. Not one day has gone by where I haven't thought about you.
I expected today to be bad, but it doesn't feel all that different to every other day that i've had to survive so far.
I think that maybe I just don't understand what i'm feeling at all. I was scared for today, but I was a lot more scared for the new year. Nobody around me really gets it, but that's because they aren't thinking the same way I am. They keep telling me it'll be a fresh start. New year, New me, you know?
I know that's not going to be the case. The new year will be one that you never got the chance to experience and how is that supposed to be a fresh start?
Grief is weird. And exhausting.
I love you.
Yours,
Will
YOU ARE READING
𝐃𝐈𝐀𝐌𝐎𝐍𝐃𝐒, w.soot
FanfictionWatch the bright eyes as they slowly sink into sleep And that same old silence that I've come to know Every time I find it when there's nowhere left to go or " I wish I could hate you even half as much...
