𝐃𝐈𝐀𝐌𝐎𝐍𝐃𝐒, w.soot

NINE.

NINE ;
flower girl.

E,

I visited you today. I'm sorry it's taken me eight months to do so, but considering the fact that I never thought I would ever have the courage to go there, I think you would be proud of me.

It went probably as well as you'd expect.

I didn't stay for long, only about an hour and a half, but I made sure to sing your favorite song to you before I left. I'm glad I didn't have an audience for that spontaneous little concert considering I started crying less than halfway through.

I went to a small cafe across the street before I went home. It was one of the first times i've gone somewhere that wasn't absolutely necessary since the incident. It was surprisingly nice, for a little cemetery cafe. I think you'd like it. The owners, an elderly couple who bicker more than we did, were some of the nicest people i've ever met. Maybe I'm a bit biased because one of them gave me extra whipped cream and didn't ask any questions about my swollen and red eyes, but I don't care. I'm sure they're used to emotionally drained individuals coming into their cafe after visiting whoever they lost, and for that, I will be forever grateful. I didn't think I was capable of talking much after my visit, which is part of the reason I had told James that I would be a little bit longer.

I was pleasantly surprised, however, when a girl around our age gently placed a flower on the table in front of me. She didn't look like she was trying to flirt with me or anything...in fact, she didn't look like she expected me to acknowledge her at all.

I think that you would be proud to know that I was the one who initiated the conversation. Her name is Mia and her grandparents are apparently the owners of the cemetery cafe. When I asked her why she gave me a flower, she shrugged and told me that The people she meets there tend to be so consumed by grief that they never seem to remember that they still deserve to smile. Apparently, she has a tradition of sorts where she goes there every tuesday and thursday and gives the people in the cafe flowers. She said she doesn't ever expect people to respond, but she just wants to make sure that flowers aren't just for the people we lost.

I think you'd like her, E.

It felt like I was betraying you, in a way. Not because it was love at first site or something silly like that, but because as ironic as it was, today is the first time I can remember laughing in a really long time.

I think you'd be proud of me for that, too.

I love you.

Yours,
Will